Tim Webb.

Once impressed a woman. Didn’t like the pressure.

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

He used more “performance enhancing drugs “ than a Russian Olympian. Her pictures used more filters than a Michigan water plant. But they made it work.

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

@LeadingReport K my mom

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

@KimKardashian The New American Dream!!

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

My X account is better off without me.

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

Engagement ring for Christmas, Because you can’t prove anything you’ve heard about her.

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

Seven swans swimming, is no big deal really.
Ten Lords Leaping, that gift was brought on by some serious sex.
#thedarkside

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

@Reeseforsure Realizes she’s not wearing panties

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

So this is sobriety?
Thought there’d be more people.

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

Watching Leaving Las Vegas , and drinking vodka…

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

@samanthaaplz Growing hurts. Growth feels great!!! Be happy.

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

@evasavagiou Godd morning. Nice navel.

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

So, this Romeo and Juliet, they were part of that Manson thing, right? Enough with the drugs already.

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

BEST PARTING LINE EVER i’ll still take a going away gift would make me feel better ive been really upset about it

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

@evasavagiou Gaaaa maaan

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

@emily_tweets I’m concerned about my knowing exactly what you’re talking about

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

Since the new Twitter started, I’ve noticed that there are fewer people ignoring my tweets.

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

@itxsavvy If I ever say no to tit pics… it’s over.

[Tim Webb. @funnyoldwhtguy]

@deekizzle This world needs the original you!!