Mike Wood

DORMANT ACCOUNT -- Comedian, beekeeper, mathdork. Somedays I catch a cabbage on my head.

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

When the remnants of humanity are scavenging what’s left of our civilisation, they’ll know they’ve hit paydirt when they get below the Keurig cups.

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

@SassySledgehmmr Leaving the Odeon Leicester Square, after the opening of Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. The Square was filled with people dressed as Indy, and it was as silent as deep space.

[David Hicks @ALL_CAPS]

@David_Moscrop I feel that for Shakespearian completeness, Trudeau must be defeated in an election which he would have won had he enacted the election reform he had promised.

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

@jonathan_katz @AndyKindler @WendyLiebman @kileynoodles @rachelpeters @LauraJSilverman It changes your blood type.

[ARCHIVED - NASA Moon @NASAMoon]

This is the first photo taken by a human on the surface of the Moon - by Neil Armstrong through the window of the Lunar Module 54 years ago.

#InternationalMoonDay marks the anniversary of Apollo 11. And now, we're going back. @NASAArtemis, you ready?

[Fair Vote Canada 🗳 🇨🇦 @FairVoteCanada]

It's never too late to keep a promise.

[Scott Santens @scottsantens]

Universal basic income indexed to GDP per capita so as to rise as productivity rises to serve as an automation dividend for all so that robots and AI work for all of us equally as our shared collective inheritance.

Without UBI, there is no positive future on a long time horizon.

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

@ericmartin242 Those altered Ernham's are fantastic.

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

"We are going to replace you with a very small AI"

"We need you to come back to the office, because we signed a 15-year lease"

You must choose, Capitalists.
Labour or commercial real estate. You can't fuck both.

[CNN @CNN]

Remote work risks wiping $800 billion from the value of office buildings in major cities worldwide by 2030 as the post-pandemic trend pushes up office vacancy rates and drives down rents, according to a new report https://t.co/C9LTXhzdzb

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

It sucks there's a headline like this, and no @sethmeyers tonight https://t.co/whOejjcL9a

[David Johnson @Ricochet_19]

So we eat them. It's not like we can wait for each one to build their own submarines, drive cars into walls, or die from hilarious surgeries.

[Paul Bronks @SlenderSherbet]

The first rule of Bird Disco is: Tell everyone about Bird Disco.

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

@AliceAvizandum Is "CAH-dray" off the table?

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

@danielleweisber My favourite is when it suggests a longer route that also has tolls and/or a ferry.

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

@kimpotter The Pentagon has estimated that the cost of mitigating Climate Change on our planet would be $350bn. I figure we take back the money, pay the Climate tab, and then go home with fifty bucks each.

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

There are 500 of them, and 10 billion of us.
LET'S FUCKING TAKE IT FROM THEM https://t.co/Mg4ZsNeG0O

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

Bluesky Changes Status From "cool" To "aloof"

[BNO News Live @BNODesk]

Meta's Twitter alternative, Threads, will be released on Friday

[Mike Wood @funnyonceaday]

The Last Page Of The Internet https://t.co/wNp8OIGTQX