The pretentious fool will study the mystical accounts of others and base his whole worldview on them.
That same fool will ignore all of his personal experiences, the little miracles in his life, the hints and messages the mirror of the world throws at him over and over - all in the same breath.
Because it is easier to ignore one's trials by making them as small and insignificant as possible compared to the grand adventures of others.
In truth - all experience is equal, all minds are equal, value is granted through personal interpretation, especially when it comes to abstract matters of the spirit.
Who is to say that the mystical experienced by someone like Crowley, or Rasputin, or Jung, for example - is at all more prevalent or valid than a personally experienced miracle?
Because they wrote a book about it?
Because they meticulously documented theirs?
Because they thought of them less as psychotic rambling and more as channeling knowledge?
How outrageously pretentious and selfish of them, no? If you did the same thing, you'd count yourself a laughing stock.
And herein lies the truth.
That only you can make that distinction.
The truth is that the miraculous surrounds you at all times, it is speaking to you right now even, through this very message - but it is up to you to unfurl its deeper meaning, to heed its quiet call.
I know many fools like this - I used to be one myself.
Collections of books and manuscripts, encyclopedias of half-read material, complete informational overload, intellectual greed and lust for knowledge, but no understanding of the grander picture of life whatsoever.
When you know many facts but haven't learnt a single thing from those facts - that is the curse of the pretentious intellectual, and a direct result of externalized ego and internalized issues with self-worth.
Constant mental masturbation.
But a sign of a master is DEEP, INNER SEARCH.
That is where the real demons lie, the gates to your personal heaven are found in your personal hell.
Be real with yourself - what are your true faults, true shortcomings, true deficit and lack.
Where do you fail yourself and others?
Where are you not meeting your true potential?
What can you do better?
What are the responsibilities you are avoiding?
Why do you need the distractions?
What are you truly afraid of?
What has you running away into the comforting arms of denial?
Are you truly an honest person or have you only convinced yourself of your virtue?
Why do you pretend to be someone you're not?
Why do you hold back your forgiveness?
Why can't you take control your rage and anger and frustration?
Why haven't you opened your heart to the world, and to yourself?
Why do you sabotage your life?
Why do you disregard your health?
These are the real questions of life.
Not how many species of alien is out there, or whether this or that celestial body will affect your finances this month by 5%.
All of the answers, even the most terrible ones, are found within.
There is no greater demon than the demon of the self.
Once you decide to overcome that - the rest will fall into place, and every piece of untruth will fade away from your life - and melt away like last winter's snow.
A man can know everything there is to know about the world, but if he does not know himself - the world will forget him.
Because he will know the world but not his place in it.
And so the world will not know him.
Only one thing is asked of you:
To embody and be your unique authentic self, your divine presence. To express all of yourself, everything that you feel to be right and true deep in your heart.
Only when you do so, you will find peace with your inner voice, and within yourself.
Intuition is the compass which spontaneously guides you through infinity, simply arising as one decisive step.
Ego will always try to generate a step by step, sequential order of events, that makes sense based on your perceived state of being.
To be guided by intuition requires you to totally give up your own sense of control, your own sense of perceived security. Which is scary.
God is always there, waiting for you to trust, and dance, trust and dance with life my friends. Beyond your imagination exists something greater than you could possibly conceive, dive in.
Reach your finger out.
You will cry and pray infinitely long for deeper meaning and purpose until you let go of trying to find it and let it reveal itself to you.
Most of the time, if not always, it is right under our nose anyway, but we are too blind to see.
Waste no time.
The biggest problem with us, the seekers of deep spiritual wisdom, the applicants of numerology, astrology and other mystical arts, is not the troubled mind we are left with in this realm.
But that we so desperately seek a way out of it.
Instead of using the rage sitting within our hearts as fuel for our actions, and utilising the grief burdening our being for slowing down our lives, we are falling victim to it.
We are desperately drowning in the very thing given to us as tools to free ourselves. We are so hopelessly desiring to escape the very energy that is needed to alchemise the pain hurting our souls.
And we can't even recognise it.
So lost are we in the loop of running and fleeing, of trying to feel better without integrating the lost and forgotten part to truly become greater.
We know we deserve it.
But we don't know how to achieve it.
While in truth it is all so simple.
Surrender and Faith are the only answer.
And for the dearest seeker the doors to the heavenly realm of understanding the Truth to it all will open. Guaranteed.
The only limiting factor is time.
And you won't be able to rush it.
So, sit with your trouble, and let it work its magic. Because eventually, it will all make sense. It will all be clear.
Let the shadow of your being consume you in all its raging darkness. Allow yourself to become the one your are so deeply afraid to be.
Let it destroy you, so God can give birth in you what he buried beneath all along.
Your unique divine Existence itself.
Truth isn't shown to you by turning without, but falling into the void within. Not controlled, but in free fall.
Raw. Soul breaking.
If you truly seek to experience the nature of God, there is no other way for you but to let go of everything you know and humbly surrender into the stillness underlying existence itself.
And when the Truth shows itself to you, gives yourself insight in who you and God really are, do not make the mistake of claiming it yours.
God is you — you are God, but by far not the way you think it to be in your flesh and bones right now.
So when it is shown to you, stay humble and humble yourself in all you do. Because how could you be better than others when all is you?
A spiritual seeker submits himself to what cosmic force he believes should rule over him - all according to the level of his initiation and understanding.
The journeyman magician, as one example, submits himself to the movement of celestial bodies.
The transit of this or that planet, or the numerical significance of this or that date, is used by him an existing archetypal template - a blueprint through which a certain order of influences may be enacted upon his life.
The master magician, eventually, naturally detaches himself personally from these influences through mastery and understanding. He comes to understand that it is his own projection of the significance of these effects through which they gain power and validity to become manifest in his life.
After this realization, these tools then become akin to a map, a means of observing the blind movements of the masses - the more asleep the masses, the more they are subjected to these same existing imprints and influences.
Yet when the magician has mastered the depths of his art, whatever it may be, he may then use the gifts bestowed by that art to attain self-mastery.
Through self-mastery, absolute awareness - and through awareness, self-knowing - liberation from external projections.
Only the internal starts to matter. The inner order is reformed and the outer order surrenders to its will.
Therefore,
"The final lesson of magic is that magic is not required."
- Uncle Jack
Oh Lord, I accept my suffering.
Give me all you have planned for me. I know it is glorious, and I understand that whatever is meant to happen now, needs to happen now.
I gratefully accept any hardship you use to strengthen my core. I welcome any struggle you utilise to form my character.
Because I understand, to be a child of yours and a carrier of your light, I am destined to not walk the easy path.
I surrender to your Will, for I alone am weak. Please, take me on and support me on my journey.
All glory to you.