Jessica.

she/her/Cweatch

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

You ever just wake up and hate all your underwear? Too loose, too tight, front wedgie, back wedgie-BOTH WEDGIES. That’s where I’m at in my life. The stage of life where I hate all my underwear.

[Angela Rockstar @Mrs_ARockstar]

Ban viagra that’s not natural if God wanted your Dick to work it would

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

The ups drivers that delivery @Chewy orders are the real mvp’s of this generation

[AboveTheDave @_daverankin_]

Sure cocaine is great but have you ever had a coffee at 6 PM?

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

@realjeffreyross Excuse me, Mr. Ross. When you have a moment, would you mind checking your IG DM’s (bb_wittle_snack) it’s very important

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

Roll before you scroll

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

If you can’t handle 4, 5, 6, 17 bouts of diarrhea, Olive Garden ain’t for you

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

If only this Facebook outage happened on January 1, then half the world would probably have succeed in keeping a New Year’s resolution

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

@_daverankin_ *3 min

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

Guys. CUT YO TOENAILS

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

SCREAMING at @Chewy 4being THE MOST AMAZING COMPANY & ABSOLUTELY KILLING THE CUSTOMER SERVICE GAME! They made several attempts on my behalf2acquire the info needed from my vet2get my LunaTuna the Rx food he needs. Food arrived super fast & my baby can have his crunchies again 🤍

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

@TerrorDream Oh I know. It was sarcasm 😋

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

PSA! Samples are back at Costco! Covid’s Over!!!

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

@Mrs_ARockstar @Mrs_ARockstar I accidentally unfollowed you. So I re-followed you. The end.

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

@TheSofiya I like the ‘in the bathroom’ part. As if you’d take a shit somewhere else

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

I just thought of something. When someone tells you ‘I like your *insert item here*’ you reply ‘thank you.’ Why am I thanking you for liking something? I should be saying ‘you’re welcome for pleasing your eyes’

[Jessica. @G1RLCAT]

For getting the job done and clean up all in one

[AboveTheDave @_daverankin_]

If I could go back and tell younger me anything I would tell myself not to push so hard. Because one day you’ll get hemmroids.