pumpkin toadlette

*clears throat* well... hello there.

[pumpkin toadlette @g_knee_]

No matter what high school you went to there was at least one dude there who was rumoured to have let his dog lick peanut butter off his dick

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

"@MarkMcGrath87: @realDonaldTrump You have a cunty demeanor." True!

[danlet @evildanevil]

Can I come over and act peculiar

[sliccmic 𖤐 @sliccmic]

im not a person who watches movies like ever so i can honestly say midsommar did to my brain what sprite would do to a caveman

[Cora Harrington @CoraCHarrington]

Sometimes I just think about how there’s absolutely no silver lining to Shein. The clothes are full of lead. The clothes are made in exploitative conditions. The clothes are contributing to pollution and global warming. The clothing designs are stolen. And the clothes fall apart.

[pumpkin toadlette @g_knee_]

@VividSeats @ConeyIsleBench No they don't! I bought tickets for a concert that was cancelled a month ago and they still haven't reimbursed me :) their team is still "looking into it" :)

[pumpkin toadlette @g_knee_]

@VividSeats has been investigating for over a month whether the @0xCuco concert i bought tickets to or not was cancelled 🙃 don't buy from them!

[macklin @saintmacklin]

We need a slur for goldendoodles

[pumpkin toadlette @g_knee_]

@backmarket I bought it from you

[pumpkin toadlette @g_knee_]

2 months after buying an iphone from @backmarket and the screen already doesn't work and the battery regularly dies at 50%

[chris @chrispybacon___]

Me after batman finds out i share my netflix password

[zantae 🦇 @DeathAngelUSA]

at the pussy and grass touching convention and nobody knew you

[ʚkennaɞ @kennatration]

date night where we take a bunch of benadryl and wait to see the hat man

[Zack Fox @zackfox]

ezra wakes up every monday, points at a random country on a globe and beats somebody ass over there by thursday

[Patrick Doran @lunch_enjoyer]

putting this on my bed frame and hitting it like a hamster’s water bottle

[Stankonia @dummyjig]

Heard my neighbor wretch loudly for 1 full minute then put on Imma Be by the Black Eyed Peas