Glenn Menteer

-Sometimes I'm funny-
-I make music and stuff-
-Third thing-

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

I go for ONE run in my #swag tanktop that I bought ironically in high school and the neighborhood children will not let it go

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

I workout, I wanna be lean like that Jesus type of lean, you know, cross fit

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

I think it's kinda ironic that AA is a service you use when you quit drinking, and AAA is a service you use when you drank too much

Is that your punishment for drunkenly crashing your car is they take one of your As away?

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

Life is hard, sometimes I feel like I'm struglenn

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

The pilot who shot down that Chinese spy balloon is America's newest pop star

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

This Chinese spy balloon stuff is getting out of hand. Apparently the pentagon has just ordered ALL military personnel to prepare for future attacks, by downloading bloons tower defense 2

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

Me trying to sleep:

My brain: Hey here's something stupid you said 6 and a half years ago

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

I'm a stoner and I'm a big fan of hotboxing, I love getting high and watching attractive people hit each other

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

#jokes #Kanye #standupcomedy

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

Ayee comedy

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

Covid is like a nude photo of yourself
If you give it to your friends you feel a little embarrassed
If you give it to the wrong person it can spread everywhere
And you're REALLY worried if your grandma gets it, and very upset if one of your friends gave it to her

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

@Regular_AssDude Thanks man I appreciate it! Yeah Marty's hilarious

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

Ayee long time no tweet. I'm a comedian now and I'm featuring for a super funny comic who was on last comic standing! If you have absolutely nothing else to do and enjoy laughing with strangers come check us out at the Parma Pitstop next thursday!

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

Heyy check it out y'all I made music happen
https://t.co/bPBDxTLqol

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

If a woman is married and is banging another guy on the side, would that guy be considered her misteress 🤔

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

So I went for a run, it was wet, as expected, but what was not expected, was getting stung by a GODDAMN BEE, what the fuck is a bee doing in the GODDAMN RAIN, GET THE FUCK INSIDE BEE YOU GODDAMN PEICE OF SHIT, YOUR FAMILY NEEDS YOU

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

There's a pandemic going on in this country and I'm not talking about covid. I'm talking about the increasing number of lunatics who think mint is an actual flavor of icecream

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

If you're not biting right into a kiwi like an apple you're doing it wrong

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

-Works out everyday-
-Still gets out of breath walking up a flight of steps-

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

Eight Crazy Nights is a masterpiece and that is a hill I will die on

[Glenn Menteer @G_lenn_]

Me: It's beautiful outside
Hulu: It's also beautiful inside
Me:
Hulu:
Me: -Watches It's Always Sunny for 5 hours-