Gabe Martinez

GT ‘22 | Engineering @ RTX

[Mads @europemaxxed]

Opening a pack of cigarettes on a night out among "nonsmokers"

[🐝 Bee 🐝 @SavinTheBees]

When I check out with $377.40 worth of groceries and the cashier asks if I want to donate a dollar for starving children

[kate bush’s husband @airbagg3d]

white people when they hear "mr brightside" at the function

[Dittie @DittiePE]

Border Patrol pulls over a 20-year-old in Slidell, LA for “white lights on the back of your vehicle… your reverse lights are on the whole time.”

Then, before writing a single ticket, the agent asks: “What’s your citizenship?”

The driver, Alan Laureano, was born in Slidell. His passenger — his 13-year-old stepbrother — was born in Pearl River, Louisiana. Both are U.S. citizens.

Didn’t matter. Twice, on camera, the agent tells Laureano he’s going to “check” the kid and “if he’s illegal, I will take him.”

He tries to open the 13-year-old’s car door himself. Laureano locks it and rolls the window down instead.

The agent then interrogates the child directly — full name, spelling, date of birth, birthplace — while Laureano stands his ground and refuses to hand over his own ID, telling the agent he doesn’t have the right to stop him over a taillight.

Immigration attorney Michael Gahagan reviewed the video and called it what it is: “an illegal detention.” Border Patrol isn’t authorized to detain someone over a traffic violation — they need independent reasonable suspicion of an immigration violation, and that has to come first, not get invented after the stop.

DHS’s after-the-fact statement claims the stop was based on “reasonable suspicion or probable cause of federal law violations” — but doesn’t say what that violation was. WWL Louisiana asked twice. No answer either time.

This is the pattern: pretext stop, pivot to citizenship, threaten a kid with removal before confirming anything. It only looks “routine” until you’re the one being asked to prove you belong in the country you were born in.

[Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps]

Christopher Nolan expects audiences to believe this trip lasted 10 years

[W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94]

Agamemnon-maxxing by making my boys leave their wife and kids at home to go on a quest and drink with me

[kyle @Caol_MacCormaic]

chuds really talked themselves out of liking a movie where the last hour is about a straight white male alpha operator doing a mass shooting against the soft-handed elites trying to cuck him

[FCF Freddy @FCF_Freddy]

Ordering two beers at the bar instead of one

[gaut @0xgaut]

best seat in the house

[Wheeljack @SJWheeljack]

genuinely cannot believe that the Diarrhea Forever meme turned out to be completely literal. this political era simply cannot be parodied or satirized. the stupidest thing you can think of can and will happen.

[Ed Rose @ESRosebud]

This was legit the tweet that I found out from, I'll never leave this app man

[Sour @The_Sourkraut]

Nothing could've prepped me for the video. Stupendous stuff

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

Lindsey Graham knew that the surgery to remove ribs in order to suck your own dick had risks. He went forward with clear eyes and a full heart. He died on his own terms.

[alexander the pretty good @vaudevillehook]

“Beer too cold” is like the third part in the trinity of “steak too juicy lobster too buttery” and I can’t believe it was said sincerely

[scary lawyerguy @scarylawyerguy]

It turns out the great egg price increase that helped topple Joe Biden's presidency was <checks notes> due to an alleged conspiracy among egg producers to artificially increase prices and the coverage of that fact is a blink-and-you-miss-it story on the NYT website 🙃

[Analytica Camillus @AnalyticaCamil1]

Area man doesn’t know that a gargantuan share of the Union soldiers who fought and died for the Republic were fresh off the boat.

So yes, they literally fought and died for the rights of their children.

[Tim Sharp 🍊 🍊 🇺🇸 @realtimsharp]

Nancy Guthrie was kidnapped from her home over 4 months ago. Seems like all of the Flock cameras in Tucson would have brought her back.

Unless Flock isn’t about solving crimes.

[Hannah Riley Fernandez @hannahcrileyy]

people who showed up to a protest outside an ICE facility and left when things got chaotic are getting HALF CENTURY sentences in federal court right now, my god

[Amazon Piss Jugs @JeremyWard33]

This will destroy fifty nine million acres of national forest. 75 percent of Americans are against this. We have no representation y'all