Gabe Landes

Do hard things. I practice and write about courage, non-anxious living, and loving others in ways that shakes the world.

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

I'm Gabe. A few things about me before you decide to follow. 🧵

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

I've watched this up close at the teenage level and the meanest, most critical kids usually have the fewest friends. And not because people didn't try.
The likeable kids just have a posutre of treating everyone else kindly and respectfully. Not gossping or being mean. Like others first is just a posture they walk in with. This makes them more likeable themselves.

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

@ZakariaMDv3 Protocol

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

Quick question for parents:

Do your kids trust your COMPETENCE more than your COMPASSION?

Or is it the other way around? Reply with one word.

I’ll share what surprised me in Mexico.
https://t.co/x6mgNr3DFk

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

“We love you, but we don’t trust you.”
— Southwest flight attendant

That single sentence just diagnosed half my relationships.

Trust is a three-legged stool: Integrity, Competence, Compassion. Which leg is missing in yours?

Full story + Mexico example here:
https://t.co/r5M2NeTgBd

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

Which leg feels weakest in your closest relationship right now?

Reply with the number (1, 2, or 3).

https://t.co/x6mgNr3DFk

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

“We love you, but we don’t trust you.”

That one line from a Southwest flight attendant made the whole plane laugh… and explained every wobbly relationship in my life.
Thread 👇

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

1. Integrity
2. Competence
3. Compassion

Remove one leg and everything collapses — even if the other two are strong.

(Full post with the stool image and Mexico story is live now 👇)

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

The world doesn't need more people made of straw, quick to caricature and slow to understand. It needs people made of steel. Humble enough to listen. Courageous enough to engage.

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

Jesus told me to love my enemies. I've always found that easier to admire than to practice. Steel manning might be the most practical way I know to actually do it.

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

The straw man says homeschool parents are sheltering their kids in a bubble. The steel man says they made a sacrificial, costly decision to take personal responsibility for their children's formation. Same parents. Completely different conversation. That's what steel manning does.

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

A steel man argument means you take the opposing view and present it in its strongest, most honest form before you respond. Not the weakest version. The best version. This takes humility. It takes courage. Most people never try it.

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

Most of us aren't holding straw man arguments because we're dishonest. We're holding them because we inherited them. We've heard a particular distortion so many times it stopped feeling like an argument and started feeling like common sense. That's the scarier problem.

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

The straw man says: here's what you believe, and it's stupid. The steel man says: here's what you believe, and I'm going to take it seriously even if I disagree. One is lazy dressed up as conviction. The other is courage dressed up as listening.

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

If you only have relationships with people who agree with your strong opinions, you've stopped loving your neighbor and started loving your mirror.

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

I know ribeyes have more flavor but my favorite steak is a NY strip.

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

@AVGirl4Life 31 years and wished we married sooner

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

@Rainmaker1973 Chicago Bears maybe

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

Surprise!

[Gabe Landes @gabe_landes]

https://t.co/1boZ1JpRJY