Gabe Hogan

Professional idiot, master of confusion(

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

Is Richard Gaad’s comedy career based on a true story?

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

Traveling on the Pakenham line to Berwick is like a really shit theatre restaurant.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

Just me or did u all know that when you go to @TedsCameraStore to print your photos from your iPhone, hidden pics will load up on the hi-res, wide screen monitors for all 9 people in store?

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

People who have birthdays at this time of year are selfish.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

When comics on stage say, please don’t cancel me, it only confirms that people can be canceled for making innocuous statements.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

I’m about to leave Chadstone, swap you my park for 20 bucks.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

I know Christmas is a time for giving and a lot of you are in a hurry to donate your organs but please, slow down on the roads.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

My tafe assessments have been plagiarized half a dozen times this year and still I think I’m dumb. Now that’s pretty dumb.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

Judging by the M1, most people spent lockdown playing Grand Theft Auto.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

@JanetAMcLeod Sweet! I’ve done the calculations, I can catch up in about 15 hours.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

I’ve been in a coma for 2 years, what’d I miss?

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

Note to Twitter, never hold your wireless earbuds in one hand and cashews in the other.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

The tradie fixing my stove came early, I apologised that my mask wasn’t on yet and he said, nah it’s cool- I don’t wear them except when I have to for work.
And that’s the story of how I had to get my house deep cleaned.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

It’s v hard to search for lesbian relationship advice online, you get one constructive article for every six porn videos. It just takes so bloody long to get through it all.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

Just lost another game of Jenga, thanks a lot Melbourne.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

The almighty god is wearing hi-viz today.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

Just saw a maskless lady in Aldi buying a 6 litre bottle of bleach, hope she takes her medical advice from Trump.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

At 7am I cut my hand on a petrol pump and let off a resounding swear. When I went in, the person at the counter was wearing an RUOK hat. They took one look at me, removed the out-of-order sign on the coffee machine and made me one. I guess sometimes you don’t even have to ask.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

Thanks to my obsession with ASMR, I now fall asleep in food courts.

[Gabe Hogan @gabeshogan]

@TheTRyanosaurus If you’re a quitter