Gabi Merchen

decommissioned little rascal

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

@audm317 Ugh loyalist behavior

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

@sammorril @joerogan It looks like Joe’s excited because Sam’s letting him stay up late to watch his band practice in the garage

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

I’ve decided to start tweeting more so I can be more nervous in job interviews down the road

[Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman]

I’m going to put on a corduroy jacket, corduroy pants, and corduroy sneakers and walk around sounding like a whole crowd whispering.

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

@dannybandman Complete gem 💎 💯

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

Holly Green liking my weed-soaked stand up comedy poster on Instagram a full four years after I was in her class conclusively proves that a high school English teacher’s support never dies ♥️

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

@isabelbeckk Ngl that makes me love her more 😂

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

@LonelyForrest You’re doing the lord’s work 🙏

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

Patio should be pronounced like ratio

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

Someone please explain to Chris Pratt the difference between being cancelled and just being straight up unlikable

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

Olivia Rodrigo/Joshua Bassett/Sabrina Carpenter = Anna Marie Tendler/John Mulaney/Olivia Munn

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

Bomb pops should reverse their order so I can start with blue, suffer through white, and end with red as a reward

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

I want to love something as much as Megan Fox loves the version of Machine Gun Kelly she created in her head 🥰

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

Man covid unlocked these mental illnesses like sleeper cells

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

@nazzobetweeting What if he doesn’t LIKE Tom Brady but he begrudgingly respects Tom Brady???

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

To the men in my timeline: it’s okay for your Twitter handle to not be a variation of “Machine Gun Kelly” it can also be your name with some numbers ♥️

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

Kellogg’s on strike, so no more frosted mini wheats, we’ll all be eating regular sized wheats for a while :(

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

Ghost writing with my sister is insane because she works out all these high fantasy plots and intricate world building and I literally won’t scroll back one page to check a characters name if I forget I just stop mentioning them

[Gabi Merchen @gabriellogram]

If the Taliban dropped into Texas rn they’d be like “omg I love what you’ve done with the place”