Nicola B)

[I'm Uni :3 @unicouniuni3]

And then… villain mode

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Shoutout to the couple beside us at a nice restaurant for their Valentine’s Day lunch who are loudly navigating their (incompatible) preferences re their imminently long-distance relationship. Best of luck to them!

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

fucked around (borrowed a coworker’s staple remover without asking) and found out (it was full of spicy honey)

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Wingboy Church (Penrith, 2025)

[the heart @Fredward3948576]

Removing my left eye from my head will cure the headache. It’s that simple

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Sam sat me down and made me watch the Simpsons episode about Marge getting addicted to gambling because of how much suika game I’ve been playing

[oscar 🍡 @unoriginaloscar]

Nicola Brayan has just said “boo” to North Korea at the pub

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Kazoo loves to hide where he thinks we can’t see him and ambush us. Relatedly, he is missing his left eye.

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Have you ever seen a blimp

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Crazy how less than a year ago someone found this sickly creature behind a primary school and now he hides his favourite toy in our bed to keep it safe

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Fire emoji reacting all the Europa Ice War tweets Sam sends me to establish dominance

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

@yezthought At a certain point I think a sandwich must be compressed to make it easy to eat + don’t think it compromises the eating experience. Less air seems reasonable

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Incredible discourse happening in my Instagram algorithm. Both these (strikingly similar) infographics in quick succession. Not sure what to believe anymore

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

The Secret Ingredient to an Italian Sub:

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Had this in the drafts in January and have a feeling that events of recent days might make this relevant again

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

@o_kachow How many types of Pokémon are there? A. 4 B. 18 C. 204 D. 518 (Oscar thinks the “correct” number is one off)

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Oscar just corrected the trivia host on a Pokémon fact he got (slightly) wrong, to which he responded that he was unaware of a recent update because “he was sleeping with a woman when that happened”

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

- my business didn’t see the notice because my stupid wife didn’t check the mail and no one else could do it (she was on maternity leave)
- my foot cramped so hard it slammed the accelerator

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Awesome defences I’ve seen in court:
- my client is Brazilian and in Brazil it’s a cultural practice to touch people without their consent
- I have ADHD so sometimes I lose focus and start speeding

[Nicola B) @galaxy__brayan]

Do you ever hear something about someone else and think “woah my life is so normal”