Margalitties

[Margalitties @Galitties]

Instead of showering before bed, I decided to change my underwear after a voice in my head said, "ya let's freshen up!"

[Shmarielle Smutler @shmuttler]

my favorite part of winter is smelling my hot wet socks

[Margalitties @Galitties]

Political debates w/ fam are not as frustrating as your dad answering every question with questions about your question

[Margalitties @Galitties]

Popeye's biscuits are the essence of constipation #abort #abort

[Margalitties @Galitties]

Nothing says "wake up" like a bladder full of urine

[Margalitties @Galitties]

My breakfast be lookin like a mom from the 70s

[Margalitties @Galitties]

U can pick your friends and U can pick your nose, but u can't text ur roommate to bring back whipped cream when they already came home

[Margalitties @Galitties]

Victoria's Secretion

[Margalitties @Galitties]

This booger situation is uncanny

[Margalitties @Galitties]

My mouth feels like a shag carpet dipped in Vaseline

[Margalitties @Galitties]

I just watched a goose eat and shit at the same time #metabolismgoals

[Margalitties @Galitties]

Straße means street in German #thanksBerlin

[Margalitties @Galitties]

Why the fuck isn't there a machine that washes AND dries?

[Margalitties @Galitties]

My tummy is making rain noises #RITTERSPORT

[Margalitties @Galitties]

@shmuttler Julian called Laser Wolf, Major Laser

[Margalitties @Galitties]

My dad just told me he wants to try ecstasy. Tuesday should be interesting @shmuttler

[Margalitties @Galitties]

What goes on in cereal that no one makes it from scratch? @GeneralMills

[Margalitties @Galitties]

Adult humor for adults

[Margalitties @Galitties]

We have more tupper wear than we have parties to tupper! #badjokes #dadjokes #bluejokes #newjokes

[Margalitties @Galitties]

I dare u to find someone who doesn't like Stephen Hawking #delightful