Michael Gavern

Dynamite with a laser beam.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

@joepiconi This is tough stuff. Round 1 I gotta go: Mary, Partidge, Bewitched, Addams, Lucy, Gey Smart, Mr Ed, Taxi for the wins.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

Lately I’ve had a feeling that we’re rounding third at the end of the world but yesterday I saw the marquee at my local Friendly’s read “Lobsterfest is back” and I knew for sure.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

@laurenboebert Weird. I can never find red trash bags.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

@hasanthehun Somebody should maybe look up the definitions of front and center.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

Hey, @Sen_JoeManchin maybe you should donate the millions you get every year from coal dividends to the families in your state that now won’t be able to afford day care and Pre-k. You’re garbage.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

I feel like every employee at my local Dominos is no older than 19 and they’re all killing it.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

I feel like people just don’t get lost in the Bermuda Triangle like they used to.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

@therealjoebob @kinky_horror Gotta go with Bucket of Blood and Humanoids from the Deep.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

@Nopski @MattOswaltVA I forgot that his full title is The Blackhead Knight.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

@ValleyGirlsSay Toyotathon is always in your heart.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

No one ever talks about how much young Axl Rose looks like Sissy Spacek and that’s a shame.

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

This is Nazi Party shit.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

@misselectric86 Not yet!

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

I love Bette Midler.

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

@whittymcdonnell

[Jenny Johnson @JennyJohnsonHi5]

Holy. Shit. YES!!!!!

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

Can I get two Rob Roy's and a Martin Mull?

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

I wonder who's in charge of dry cleaning Jeff Probst's necklace. #Survivor

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

"Well, Duncan is a good name in yo-yo's"-kid in Toys r Us who knows what's up.

[Matt Braunger @Braunger]

Seriously tho, have you seen what Dolly Parton looked like in the 70s? Who the FUCK was Jolene??

[Michael Gavern @gallifrey80]

Damn straight Dolly Parton gets a standing ovation. #sagawards