Garbage Human

Confessions of a #garbagehuman.

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

I just pulled all of these cheese puffs out of my jacket pocket #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

I just ate two #traderjoes mini frozen pizzas in the bathtub #adulting #fridayfun #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

ps it didn't work.

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

currently trying to make easy mac with a coffee machine. wish me luck #nomnomnom #adulting #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

"what's in your pocket"
"bacon"
"how long has it been there"
"since monday"

#fridayfeels #adulting #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

instead of getting up to get a napkin, I wiped my hands on a pair of sweatpants on the floor #lifehack #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

I have no idea how long this can of soup has been in my trunk #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

I have been in this hotel room for less than 24 hours. #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

updated my #tinder profile pictures; I am on the toilet in all of them #onlinedating #modernromance #looking4love #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

@dinoswor I think she eats her own farts for breakfast

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

@ellliebradley 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

I have half of a @sonicdrivein cheeseburger in the inside pocket of my denim vest #garbagehuman #foodie

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

almost signed up for an AARP card so I can get a discount at @Outback. I am 30. #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

I dropped a pad thai noodle on my cat and picked it off of her and ate it #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

seriously, no joke: most of my text conversations are about poop #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

today's lunch: @Walgreens brand pizza rolls with a @tacobell mild sauce garnish #gourmet #cleaneating #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

I have been wearing the same shirt for the past week. I have also been using it as a napkin #lifehack #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

too cheap for tanning oil so I am using butter instead #summer #lifehack #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

I had really bad flatulence on my flight home but I was sitting next to a baby so I just kept farting & blaming it on the baby #garbagehuman

[Garbage Human @garbagehumanity]

I brought a ziplock bag full of pickles on an airplane and ate them all #frequentflyer #makingfriends #garbagehuman