Chris Garcia

I am a musician. And I fancy myself humorous. Enjoy.

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

Almost just threw away my wife’s half-eaten burrito because I thought it looked like a used diaper.

Parenting is going well.

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

@dennykasey @AZCardinals Have to wait until week 16

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

@giant_andrei @volcommie Stuck In The Alt-Middle With you

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

Been watching some videos that claim to be “alt-middle” and that is just terrible branding.

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

Dunno why, but feeling lighter today

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

@Joel_Simpson @Dodgers Bro, I’m the exact opposite. 😂

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

@AndreMorett 😔

[Joshin and Jokien @joshcarlosjosh]

Do I need to see Spider-Man 1, 2, 3, 1, 2, 1, and 2 before I see Spider-Man 3?

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

Something about this new Spider-Man trailer has new thinking it’s the dark Dr. Strange from “What If…?”, not the Strange we know and love.

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

TFW you don’t even realize it’s a sax solo.

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

@maybeMaehem @davluz Came here to say this.

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

Balks are having a banner year. @MLB

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

Flagrant 2 the quietest podcast in the game rn

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

In my best life, I’d be a douche bag. Driving a Scion, with a nick in my eye brow.

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

@AndreMorett Mmmm como en 20 años ya estamos

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

Watching my wife watch The Bachelorette has me really questioning Jesus’ love in her heart.

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

Real lucky that I became a dad at the exact moment bucket hats, tie dye shirts, and crocks were in fashion. Hashtag blessed.

[Chris Garcia @garciamorett]

@Joel_Simpson This is the sweet spot

[David G @davidgungor]

Silver really feels like commissioner Burns