Garfieldzar

I’m Garfield

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Every SA house has a plastic bag full of plastic bags under the sink. Nobody has ever taken one out. It just gets bigger, like it feeds at night

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Washing has been sitting in the machine since Sunday. It's not washing anymore, it's a science project. Housemate asked if I'm keeping it on purpose and I said ja just to win the argument

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Petrol might drop about R1.80 in December and my dad's already planning the drive to Margate around it. Diesel's going up though so Uncle with the Fortuner is going to be very quiet at lunch

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

An American lady warned her family about SA culture shock before they visit. Hope she covered now now. My dad says he's leaving now now and I've watched him finish a whole T20 first

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Someone made an AI video of Zille and Mashaba running Joburg together and it's the most teamwork that city's seen since the election. Only coalition that's actually working is the fake one

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Gauteng had storms on Monday and today it's a full heatwave. Joburg weather has the same mood swings as my mate after his second Klippies and Coke

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Princess Diana's old Constantia holiday house is on the market for R163 million. Went to view a bachelor flat in Stellies last year for R7500 a month and the agent told me the damp gives it character

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

A 13 year old in my comments said Stickeez were back in the day. His back in the day was lockdown. Bro is nostalgic for Zoom school and his mom's Pick n Pay smart shopper card

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Debt counsellors are already warning people about Black Friday. Last year I saved R400 on an air fryer on credit and I'm fairly sure I'm still paying it off. Makes lekker chips. Not R400 lekker

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Someone made a shiny chrome Siya statue and I need one in Stellies. I'd fix my hair in his chest before every lecture. Man's been carrying the country for years, he can carry my morning routine too

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Tsakane had no water for five days and when it finally came back it was blue. Municipality just went and upgraded everyone to the Powerade package without asking

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Choice Assorted is R309 now. At that price my mom's going to count the Romany Creams before and after visitors. Uncle Johan took two at once last Christmas and we still don't talk about it

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

This new Virgin Active rewards system is ridiculous 🙄

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

That first half of the Springboks🇿🇦 vs Italy🇮🇹 game… Wow… That was brutal…

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Boks play Italy in Turin this weekend and my Italian stops at ordering at Col'Cacchio. Still going to shout grazie at the TV every time we win a scrum penalty

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Guy Fawkes was last night and my mate's Jack Russell spent it on top of the fridge. Nobody knows how he got up there. The Boerboel next door slept straight through and only woke up when someone opened a packet of chips

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Shoutout to everyone who voted with the green ID book. My uncle's one is held together with Sellotape and the photo has a moustache he shaved off in 1991. Scanner said no three times and he still calls it the original like it's a vintage Land Cruiser

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Mrs Bullock out here doing amapiano and my maths teacher's only move was the slow walk to your desk when your phone buzzed. That walk still had more rhythm than me at a braai

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

That little oke at the lobola checking every lady's shoes like a Gumtree buyer checking tyres is the best negotiator in the country. Somebody get him on the AGOA talks

[Garfieldzar @garfieldzar]

Facetuned one pic just to smooth my skin a bit and now the door frame behind me has a waist. My mom commented that I look healthy. My mate commented that the tiles are melting