Garrison Abbey

sarcastic pizza enthusiast.

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

@meadowsryke thanks man I appreciate that

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

it's not like you have a hacker in your family or anything but okay https://t.co/nMqOJhXOrY

[Ryke Meadows @meadowsryke]

I’m THIS fucking close to having @_ConnorCobalt find out where these asshole middle aged men that say shit about my daughters on the internet live and paying them a visit. If you have nothing nice to say, fuck off you fucking assholes.

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

happy birthday to @WildNonaMeadows, vada’s partner in crime!! 🎉🎉🎉 you girls are messy af but giving you a pass for your birthday

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

@Hale_Maximoff it’s sweet you think family isn’t made to bring crap like this up 24/7

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

thanks @Hale_Maximoff I have a better reason to keep the ink now if you name your kid batman

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

@lorenhellion thanks man I appreciate that

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

@lorenhellion off the record, you’re a better asshole than my brothers ever were

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

@lorenhellion you know what? this round goes to you since willow said I shouldn’t antagonize you so much

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

aren’t you’re getting yourself mixed up with your brother lo? https://t.co/daEU50tiKR

[Loren Hale @lorenhellion]

I’m a lovable asshole though. You’d just be an asshole. https://t.co/YoUfvtlb64

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

and I could hack your devices to show you the bat signal all day long but I try not to be an asshole 24/7 unlike you https://t.co/ksanIa18eY

[Loren Hale @lorenhellion]

Alternatively Moffy could not name his kid Batman and you could just chop your neck off? I really do think that would work. https://t.co/pUDRu9haG1

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

yeah yelling gotham’s name while flashing my bat tattoo is real fun around your human https://t.co/OFSYHXdD3R

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

good to know your cockblocking extends to your kids too I don’t feel as special *dry tone* https://t.co/D5dzdu27F3

[Loren Hale @lorenhellion]

Jesus Christ, can my kid and his boyfriend not make out for 10 seconds? Asking for a friend.

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

@AbbeyVada @willowaIIflower when you can take care of your equipment like a real athlete then I’ll start calling it a BMX

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

happy birthday to the bravest person I’ve ever met @willowaIIflower you are forever my girl and I’ll always love you for being the first person to believe in me I would be nowhere without you 🍕🎂🍕🎂

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

hey happy birthday @daisyonmeadows! thanks for always taking care of my girl and giving me a chance you’re really one of a kind 🍰

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

heart-shaped pizza: still a no from me

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

happy valentine’s day to my girl @willowaIIflower ♥️ (the only time I’ll use a hearts emoji)

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

being off the internet means I’m dead what a shock *dry tone* https://t.co/kH22IBwxAz

[lucy @effysayre]

he lives https://t.co/IZgJCqD2BU

[Garrison Abbey @garrisonwither]

😎😎😎