garry

[NEET @neetrockstar]

Jacking off drunk feels like an underwater mario level

[felicity shagwell ੯‧̀͡⬮ ᡣ𐭩 @liIpochaco]

idk what this means i just wanted attention too

[garry @Garry__Moore__]

@orixea @MyDerivation @everlyeira you’re protesting to much, i’m gonna tell your wife check the bank statements

[meg “Yooper” bitchell @MeganBitchell]

They’re calling it 1 minute and 49 seconds of the worst stand up comedy of all time (re-uploaded extended edition full half set)

[zou bisou bisou where are you @lilgrapefruits]

People who started smoking because of a greyscale tumblr photo when real white trash comes at them

[mothman @grantisdumb]

to the random girl who tickled my armpit last night at the LCD Soundsystem concert when I put my hands in the air to cheer… what the hell is the matter with you 😭😭😭

[garry @Garry__Moore__]

@brigid_madden @TheAlmighty_Bup @willsgardevoir if you believe in an afterlife then the original makes sense too

[garry @Garry__Moore__]

@YugoslavStoic @ramona_petri @kingdomjcdz @Trust_Lion_ people who believe in “the wall” exiting your dating pool is a positive thing. Delusional men who think that they’re going to attract endless young women aren’t suitable prospects for a relationship

[garry @Garry__Moore__]

@kingdomjcdz @Trust_Lion_ i’ve never seen whisky go bald, fat or develop erectile dysfunction. a minority of men age well. most look and smell like shit. Men age like bread

[garry @Garry__Moore__]

@itssamanthaaaa_ @ianimal69 he has, but never for free

[garry @Garry__Moore__]

@Mugiwarasogoofy you didn’t make a joke, you copied one

[garry @Garry__Moore__]

@Mugiwarasogoofy idk why it bothered me so much but i felt full on hate seeing you be unoriginal and annoying, i know what to expect with reply guys and normally it doesn’t incite a response but today i jumped straight to death threat. i think it was the emoji

[garry @Garry__Moore__]

@Mugiwarasogoofy @milkheavens shutupshutupshutupillkillyou

[Ali @AJ_F612]

@bigidiotgirl I feel that bc this is how my own child texts me

[garry @Garry__Moore__]

@spacecrater @thechosenberg i absolutely can but in that scenario he’s not even really a fitness instructor and they are so in love

[Ben @BenShindel]

Doesn’t get better than this

[zou bisou bisou where are you @lilgrapefruits]

Perfect tweet but the caveat this metaphor comes with is that showing someone the stars is only one half of loving them, if they want to show you the beauty they experience in return you have to be prepared to rethink the way you’ve decided you feel about piles of mud

[garry @Garry__Moore__]

@postboob it’s anxiety