heineken barwalker

retired baby food connoisseur, current sparkly rock collector, lightning strike survivor. oh & magician. catdad/dogmom

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

why is it called jerking off to everybody in my town & not cumming to my census

[Rock @TheCensoredRock]

Ok this is a banger 🤘🏻

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

plan b is saving a child from the world

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Having children is saving the world

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

it took her 2 hours to find her way home? haha get it?? cause women can’t dri- haha jkjk

[News 19 @whnt]

Woman drives 2 hours, shoots husband who wanted divorce https://t.co/JiHsdIfTuD

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

@taurayan @zackfox i mean it was a chocolate factory

[Satan @s8n]

wait what????

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

@kayhobbster hahaha i tried to say “this is how i choose to cry” but try works just the same

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

@kayhobbster this is how i choose to try

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

@duncantrussell

[Duncan Trussell @duncantrussell]

The family in apt 302 just found out there was a triple murder suicide in there and now want to move to another apt. 😂😂😂. Ummm no.

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

@morbidsadness @ReplyGPT

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

@morbidsadness yeah sure why not

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

yeah while sniffin the perfume samples it was the closest thing to virtual reality the mid 2000’s had to offer

[erin 🍑🎃 @maizie_star]

men used to jack off to JCPenney catalogs

[erin 🍑🎃 @maizie_star]

men used to jack off to JCPenney catalogs

[Tim Dillon @TimJDillon]

This is the greatest moment in journalism.

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

i like my coffee how i like my women

trans fatty

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

you either die masturbating or you live long enough to be the one who cleans up cum

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

@morbidsadness u the one with the pendulum swangin bby

[heineken barwalker @garrymc12]

i’m a big hit in the gay-bashing community