🥸

feelin silly

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

nominative determinism

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

like the gotham city bat signal for be gay

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

rainbows so underrated

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

the principle of not dressing up or looking too hot in the presence of creepy geezers: “no cunty for old men”

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

Big Overtime Opportunities Big Spender

Tremendous Income, Terrible Spouse

—bf’s contributions

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

Double Income, No Kids (DINK)
Single Income, No Girlfriend (SING)
Triple Wages, Income Rly Large (TWIRL)
Suitable Income, Many Prospects, Life Easy (SIMPLE)
Help! I Need Girlfriend Electronically (HINGE)
Negligible Earnings, Parents Opulent (NEPO)
Low Earnings Eight Kids (LEEK)

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

chatting with an ol’ hill country Texan rancher on his aging friend group last night:

Me ‘n some friends git together ery now ‘n then
We sit down
I’ll look ‘round the table
“Where’s Joe?”
“… Joe ain’t”

“Where’s Joe // Joe ain’t” is branded into my brain matter

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

Really bothers me that airplane safety videos never show you what happens when you pull the tab on the inflatable vest, or how effortful it is to inflate it by blowing through the tube

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

Which will kill me sooner, the microplastics in my plastic cutting board or the black mold festering on the edges of my wooden cutting board

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

k-holed economy

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

boil everything

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

Getting detained for not having the right visa and being ejected back thru my port of entry means I was whisked through the terminal by six different security ppl, all briefed on who I was, awaiting me at every turnstile to chaperone me thru their domain; I’ve never felt more VIP

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

“You can’t compare forty-five apples and forty-five bananas…thAT’S A LOT OF BANANAS” - guy on zoom call

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

I've been wondering if in 2026 I should resolve to make all my tough decisions by coin flip, to completely give my life over to a coin, no less wise than my village and no less kind than my God. In the spirit of this decision I flipped a coin to decide and the coin said "no"

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

I need to adopt more positive body language

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

may I meat you

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

The issue with date-me docs is that they violate the rule of “show, don’t tell.” *Show* me how long you can hold a plank, the five longest texts you’ve ever sent a woman, and your cheekiest wink don’t *tell* me to date you

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

very excited to dip my toes into something new: a cheese fondue

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

new goal as a Chinese woman is to be so hot that he’s afraid to tell me about his job

[🥸 @gary_minaj]

Whenever I get tired of navel-gazing I place a new flavor of tic tac in my navel and then it gets interesting again
🔍👁️🫦👁️