gary georgevich

Comic / Writer / Humor Report

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

smoke stove stab - strangle stress sob - puppy prom plume - must be time for #dateline

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

Same size bag, fewer chips. I promise same size bag, bigger chips. And your tickets to see #HarryStyles will be printed with all total fees included. #SOTU

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

I'm a capitalist, but let's everybody pay 99% taxes. #SOTU

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

To reduce the student loan burden, I'm going to lower the price of basic textbook to $475. #SoTU

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

If #Biden quotes lyrics from a #TaylorSwift song I'm going to win a $500 parlay! #SOTU

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

Unions built the middle class. We have great zoos! Wednesday is Prince spaghetti day! Paper bags and winos. #Sotu

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

We're going to have a soft landing. And soft serve ice cream. #SOTU

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

Remember the hoarding of toilet paper. Yes, toilet paper. Hoarded. Shameful. #SOTU

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

The guy in the horned headdress failed, yes failed, to overthrow democracy. #SOTU

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

Pro tip: When you take the podium, don't bring it outside and run down the street with it. #SOTU

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

#TaylorSwift is heading back to Japan because she forgot her hair dryer. @absrdNEWS

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

Guilty as Discharged! #Dateline

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

He was a hopeless romantic, with a hankering for making technically advanced explosives. #Dateline

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

With this wire, I thee wed. #Dateline

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

Not a great idea to pitch a movie idea about an assassin during an interview. #Dateline

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

I don't know what chemicals are in my garage. And I'm not sure why I'm quoting Carol King. I make rockets! #Dateline

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

Smiling. Spa. Smoke. Lovers. Lashes. Limbs. Damage. Debris. Dash Cam. Bombing. Bunny. Body Parts. Must be time for #Dateline

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

Get #MariahCarey some hot tea! #GRAMMYs

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

Fonzie. Canoodling on the floor. We have a suspect. #Dateline

[gary georgevich @garygeorgevich]

I was doing dishes for a couple of hours. I had just thrown a dinner party for cast of Les Mis. #Dateline