Gary Sherbell

NYU Law grad, retired NYC Judge, author of fiction and nonfiction. Latest published book: nonfic. humor book, DAMN ENGLISH!, pub. by Black Rose Writing, 6/5/25.

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

#humor #divorce #sexcomedy #lawyers

ADULTEROUS is a comedy novel all about divorce lawyers, just published by Wordwooze Publishing, authored by Gary Sherbell, NYU Law grad and retired judge, and most importantly your X-Posting ADULTERY REPORTER.

Read ADULTEROUS and you'll laugh while you learn... + A divorce lawyer's tips on HOW TO DATE AS A MARRIED MAN
+A divorce lawyer's secretary's tips on HOW TO DATE AS A MARRIED WOMAN
+Whether it's dishonest for a woman not to tell her new beau that her ex didn't cheat on her until AFTER she began to refuse him sex
+Whether it's immoral -- albeit legally still adultery -- for a man to "step out" on his wife after she refuses him sex for one year
+Whether a man's relentless pressure campaign to get his wife to engage in oral sodomy can constitute her grounds for divorce as "cruel and inhuman treatment" +Whether a woman accused of adultery can defend herself by claiming that she was forced into it through sexual harassment
+Whether divorce lawyers secretly approve of adultery because "without it we'd all go broke"
+Whether divorce lawyers can indeed be a laughing matter
*** Check out "Adulterous by Gary Sherbell" on your favorite on-line retailers!

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

#adultery #divorcelawyers #newnovels #comedy

ADULTEROUS is a comedy novel all about divorce lawyers, just published by Wordwooze Publishing, authored by Gary Sherbell, NYU Law grad and retired judge, and most importantly your X-Posting ADULTERY REPORTER.

Read ADULTEROUS and you'll laugh while you learn...
+ A divorce lawyer's tips on HOW TO DATE AS A MARRIED MAN
+A divorce lawyer's secretary's tips on HOW TO DATE AS A MARRIED WOMAN
+Whether it's dishonest for a woman not to tell her new beau that her ex didn't cheat on her until AFTER she began to refuse him sex
+Whether it's immoral -- albeit legally still adultery -- for a man to "step out" on his wife after she refuses him sex for one year
+Whether a man's relentless pressure campaign to get his wife to engage in oral sodomy can constitute her grounds for divorce as "cruel and inhuman treatment"
+Whether a woman accused of adultery can defend herself by claiming that she was forced into it through sexual harassment
+Whether divorce lawyers secretly approve of adultery because "without it we'd all go broke"
+Whether divorce lawyers can indeed be a laughing matter
***
Check out "Adulterous by Gary Sherbell" on your favorite on-line retailers!

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

ADULTERY REPORT #3 by author of comedy novel ADULTEROUS, to be published 9/1 by Wordwooze Publishing
#JedYork #SF49ers #adultery #prostitution

ADULTERER: Jed York, SF49ers billionaire owner, who allegedly tried to hire a prostitute, for "sexual activity", for $140; arrested 8/23/26, already pled guilty to disoderly conduct.
ADULTEREE: wife Danielle Belluomini, though Alleged Adulterer had previously filed for divorce
ADULTERIST: Unnamed resident of Wheat Hill Mobile Home Community trailer park
ADULEGAL: In most states, separation and/or divorce filing does not unadulterate adultery
SOURCE: NY Post, 8/25/26, by Edward Lewis

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

ADULTERY REPORT #2 by author of comedy novel ADULTEROUS, to be published 9/1 by Wordwooze Publishing
#KyrstenSinema #adultery #SenSinema #NYPost
ADULTERER [ALLEGED]: Matthew Ammel
ADULTEREE: his then wife Heather Ammel
ADULTERIST: Former Arizona U.S. Senator Kyrsten Sinema
ADULTIME: began 2024
ADULTIRONY: Adulterer was Adulterist's bodyguard
ADULTELL: Adulterist confessed it in deposition in Adulteree's $75,000 "Homewrecker" suit against her
SOURCE: NY Post, 8/17, by Ryan King

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

ADULTERY REPORT #1 by author of comedy novel ADULTEROUS, to be published 9/1 by Wordwooze
#GavinNewsom #RubyRippey #KimGuilfoyle #VanityFair

ADULTERER [Admitted]: Cal. Gov. Gavin Newsom
ADULTEREE: Wife Kimberley Guilfoyle
ADULTERIST: Ruby Rippey
TIME: Mid-2000s
PLACE: Mostly San Fran
ADULTWIST: Adulterist was wife of Adulterer's best friend
SOURCE: NY Post, 7/29, by Ross O'Keefe, re recent Vanity Fair tell-most by Adulterist
HOW COME: Hot tub, for one
COMEUPPANCE: Publicly admitted to long ago
COME WHAT MAY NOT: Political repercussions uncertain

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

VOTE IN THE FIRST DAMN ENGLISH! READER POLL!
#polls #voterID #illegalaliens

**NO VOTER ID REQUIRED!**
**ILLEGAL ALIENS WELCOME TO VOTE!**
**You don't have to follow me on X to vote
-- or even be on X at all!**

HERE'S DAMN ENGLISH! READER POLL #1:
*******************************************************************
In English expressions, there are four food types used to suggest mediocrity:
A- chicken feed
B- mince meat
C- peanuts
D- chopped liver

We do not need more than one. Let's keep one in use and no longer use the other three. VOTE FOR THE ONE YOU WANT TO KEEP IN USE.
*******************************************************************
HOW TO VOTE: Put your vote in the SUBJECT LINE of an email to me at: [email protected]. Your vote should read: "DE#1-" followed by your letter vote.
EXAMPLE: To vote for choice "A", put in the subject line of your email: DE#1-A

***SUBMIT YOUR VOTE BY 6/30/26***
***Results to be announced***

88

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #49 from the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#GrahamPlatner #pronouns
Maine Dem. Party Senate hopeful Graham Platner has come under fire for alleged faults ranging from minor character flaws to major candidacy flunkers -- yet not a single criticism coming from my lane, English language usage. Permit me to be the first: when Mr. Platiner said, "If anybody ever broke in... I would rape them", he committed the grievous grammatical sin of coupling the singular subject "anybody" with the plural pronoun "them".
Now, I do understand that English language users who are progressive on gender issues feel compelled to eschew the use of the singular binary "him or her" in favor of the non-binary "them", despite its inapplicable plural connotation. Sorry: though you may choose to value political correctness over grammatical correctness, such usage is still BAD ENGLISH. Which leaves us with this critical question: Is someone disqualified from being a U.S. Senator when they so blatantly don't know their linguistic asses from their elbows?

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #48 from the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#FIFA #WorldCup #Madonna
After FIFA announced that the World Cup soccer final
-- to be held this summer in the U.S. -- would include a Super-Bowl-like extended entertainment halftime, featuring Madonna, among others, there was a tsunami of criticism, mostly on social media, coming mostly from non-U.S. fans of the game. As reported in the New York Post, typical criticism included: "I despise the idea of a 'show' during halftime... The football match is the show..." and "FIFA turning the World Cup final into a concert. Halftime could be 25 minutes or more. This is not football anymore."
What irks me about these critiques isn't on the merits; indeed, it is fair criticism that the lengthening of halftime would "unnaturally" give players more halftime rest. Rather, as a purveyor of English usage which is if not "BAD" then is at least "INAPPROPRIATE", I am deeply troubled by the fact that these non-U.S. critics, in their posted criticisms, have persisted in referring to the sport, in the non-U.S. fashion, as "football", as opposed to "soccer" - the preferred nomenclature in the U.S., employed to distinguish it from the sport engaged in when the Kansas City Chiefs take on the Pittsburgh Steelers - even though, in this instance, THE GAME IS TO BE PLAYED ON U.S. SOIL. C'mon, non-U.S. critics: can't you just this once, under the geographic circumstances, dispense with your jingo lingo and go with "soccer" over "football" -- putting your best linguistic foot forward?

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #47 from the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#GavinNewsom #BillMaher #PresTrump
California Governor Gavin Newsom commenting on President Trump on Bill Maher's Real Time show: "He's not doing anything to try to unite this country, in any way, shape or form." Not necessarily BAD English but certainly COULD BE BETTER English. Why not end with just "way"? Why tack on "shape or form" -- which are redundant subcategories of "way"? (Indeed, "shape" is a redundant subcategory of "form", making "shape" doubly redundant.) The Governor, like all users of this expression, added "shape or form" merely for oratorical puffery, not to actually enhance our comprehension of the point he was trying to make. Want proof? When someone wants you to do something which you refuse to do, what do you commonly say in response? Why, "NO WAY!", of course, fully making your point. NO ONE ever needlessly extends the declaration to "NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM!"

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #47 from the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#GavinNewsome #BillMaher #PresTrump
California Governor Gavin Newsome commenting on President Trump on Bill Maher's Real Time show: "He's not doing anything to try to unite this country, in any way, shape or form." Not necessarily BAD English but certainly COULD BE BETTER English. Why not end with just "way"? Why tack on "shape or form" -- which are redundant subcategories of "way"? (Indeed, "shape" is a redundant subcategory of "form", making "shape" doubly redundant.) The Governor, like all users of this expression, added "shape or form" merely for oratorical puffery, not to actually enhance our comprehension of the point he was trying to make. Want proof? When someone wants you to do something which you refuse to do, what do you commonly say in response? Why, "NO WAY!", of course, fully making your point. NO ONE ever needlessly extends the declaration to "NO WAY, SHAPE OR FORM!"

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #46 from the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#JimmyKimmel #MelaniaTrump
First lady Melania Trump, in an X-Post, in response to Jimmy Kimmel's provocative reference to her as having the look of an "expectant widow" (albeit BEFORE the most recent assassination attempt on the President), like her hubby, called for ABC to fire the late-night TV host, employing the words "Enough is enough." A sentiment one could perhaps agree with, but nonetheless BAD ENGLISH: technically proper, but should it be accepted as such?
"Enough is enough" is just one of far too many expressions in damn English which purport to say something but in fact say NOTHING: from "It is what it is" to "A deal's a deal" to the bathroom use comment, "When you gotta go you gotta go". In the case of "Enough is enough", pray tell: when was "enough" EVER not "enough"? If the answer is NEVER, how can it EVER make sense to make use of this nonsensical expression? Indeed, if it wouldn't brand me as a hypocrite, I'd say to Melania, re the use of "Enough is enough": If you can't, you can't.

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #45 by the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#Tesla #ElonMusk #Spelling #TulsiGabbard
EGREGIOUS SPELLING ERROR in today's NY Post Business Section headline: "Telsa drivers sue in 'bum steer'". "Telsa" instead of "Tesla"! Yikes! Actually, too bad Elon didn't name the car "Telsa". Think of all the fun to be had if, say, Tulsi Gabbard had bought one in Tulsa, Oklahoma; a headline could then read, "Tulsi buys Telsa in Tulsa". [Can you say that correctly, three times fast?]

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #44 by the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#PresTrump #FBomb #StraitOfHormuz
Regarding Pres. Trump's recent use of the F-Bomb in an actual official policy pronouncement on the Strait of Hormuz quagmire -- saying to Iran, "Open the
F--kin' Strait...[or else]...": I have no quarrel with his use of the F-Word per se, purely from the standpoint of proper English. However, I do find fault with the precise usage he chose to employ in two respects:
(1) "Dropping the G" from the formal gerund form,
"F--king", to arrive at the colloquial "F--kin'" is simply unacceptable for an official pronouncement.
(2) Whenever "F--king" is used purely for emphasis, there is always the risk that the usage will be confused with a literal reference to actual sexual intercourse -- here, implying that F--king is commonly engaged in, in or near the Strait. To avoid such confusion, the President might have been better advised to employ "Bloody" in place of "F--king". Such a substitution would have carried an added political benefit: since "Bloody" is far more commonly employed in the U.K., and the President has been somewhat disappointed with the level of assistance so far received from our U.K. ally in this matter, the use of "Bloody" in the President's pronouncement might have gone far to encourage greater U.K. participation.

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

ADD #26 to my published fun book DAMN ENGLISH!
#ArtemisII #themoon #NeilArmstrong #Apollo11
The launch of the moon-bound Artemis II has reminded me of perhaps the worst language misstep involving the word "step" in human history, spoken by Apollo 11's Neil Armstrong, on July 20, 1969, as he became the first human to put a foot down on the moon: "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." Alas, this makes no sense, since in context, "man" means the same as "mankind". Surely he meant to begin with "... small step for A man..." [Note that this gaffe couldn't happen today, since he would have almost certainly read his prepared remarks off a teleprompter.]
If it makes Armstrong's descendants feel any better, English expressions using "step" have long been problematical. For example:
(1) "Watch your step" is actually terrible advice. If you look down at your feet while you walk you will almost certainly bump into something ahead you didn't see in time.
(2) "Keep one step ahead of your enemies". Seriously? Only ONE? An enemy just one step behind you can still stab you in the back or clobber you over the head with a baseball bat. Better advice: stay at least two-three steps ahead.
Now maybe Mr. Armstrong's descendants will feel a bit better about his, well, stepping in it.

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

ADD #25 to my published fun book DAMN ENGLISH!
#cats #dogs #catsvsdogs #JDVance
In the centuries-long verbal brawl between cat-lovers and dog-lovers, dog proponents have long held the upper -- well, tongue -- when it comes to the English language. Our lingo is full of kind and gentle references to the canines, while decidedly hard on the felines. Just look at all the dog positivity, from words ("dogged") to phrases ("works like a dog" -- never "works like a cat") to whole sentences ("A man's best friend is his dog".) The verbal worst dogs might be hit with is the minimizing of a fault ("bark is worse than his bite") or the implication of an honest mistake ("barking up the wrong tree") or a fault equally shared by cats ("fighting like cats and dogs".)
But cat treatment in English? Just look at all the negativity:
--"catty" [implying cats are spiteful]
--"fat cat" [cats are greedy]
--"cat lady" [spinsterish female who loves cats -- often used pejoratively, as by JD Vance in 2024 campaign]
--"scaredy cat" [never "scaredy dog"]
--"copy cat" [pejorative implications obvious]
--"curiosity killed the cat" [what, dogs are never too curious to their detriment?]
"the cat that ate the canary" and "cat and mouse game" [cats are bully carnivores who go after much smaller prey]
--"Look what the cat dragged in" [cats are classless garbage pickers]
Cat-lovers, if this outrageous verbal imbalance is news to you, then, well, cat's out of the bag. But if you were already aware of it, why haven't you been speaking up? Cat got your tongue?

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #43 by the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#PresTrump #Cuba #DanaBash #MarcoRubio
Friday, in an interview with CNN's Dana Bash, President Trump said that "Cuba is gonna fall pretty soon..." Yes, I get that "gonna" is acceptable in colloquial usage, but shouldn't our English-Speaker-in-Chief, in what amounts to an official pronouncement such as this, be going with the strictly proper "going to" instead of "gonna"? As El Presidente admittedly does, after another "gonna", when he goes on to say, "They want to make a deal so badly... and so I'm going to put Marco [Rubio] over there and we'll see how that works out." Oh yeah, ain't we gonna.

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #42 by the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#Epstein #HillaryClinton #BillClinton #Farming
At the recent Congressional hearing, at which the Clintons testified re their ties to the late sex predator Jeffrey Epstein, Ms. Clinton, at one point, declared that "... you can hold me in contempt from now until the cows come home... " Really, Madam Secretary? "Till the cows come home"? Do you have even the slightest notion of when it is that "cows come home"? I doubt that you do, nor do I, same for the vast majority of Americans alive today who did not grow up on a farm.
That rusted idiom -- like "axe to grind" and "chickens come home to roost" -- was generated at a time, well over a hundred years ago, when most Americans did live on farms and were quite familiar with bovine behavior. But no more. Old MacDonald had a farm, but his grandchildren and great grandchildren are now accountants, AI programmers and, well, English Professors. Isn't it about time that we replaced these farmy expressions with ones more suitable for a populace mostly born and raised in an urban or near-urban environment? As for those coming cows, how about going instead with: "when the rats come back to their garbage cans"? Or "when the homeless come back to their subway seats"?
t it

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #41 by the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#SeanHannity #IranWar #PresTrump #MickeyRooney #WiltChamberlain
Just heard Sean Hannity, on his radio show, say that a certain member of the Trump Administration, in connection with the Iran War, was now "up to his eyeballs in work" -- without telling us the height of the individual! I mean, for example, if Mickey Rooney was "up to his eyeballs in work", couldn't he actually have LESS work to do than, say, Wilt Chamberlain "up to his waist"?

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

BAD ENGLISH REPORT #40 by the author of DAMN ENGLISH!
#SusanRice #Netflix #WarnerBros #PreetBharara
The New York Post (2/28) reports: Last week, former President Obama adviser Susan Rice, on Preet Bharara's podcast, following pressure from Pres. Trump on Netflix to remove her from its Board (re Netflix bid for Warner Bros), warned that if corporations "take a knee" to Trump and think a future Democratic administration wouldn't hold them accountable, then "they've got another thing coming."
Sorry Ms. Rice, that's BAD ENGLISH: the proper English expression ends with "... another THINK coming."
Though, come to thing -- er, think of it, perhaps you were just doing your own linguistic think -- er, thing? Who'd a thung it!?

[Gary Sherbell @garysherbell]

ADD #24 to my published fun book DAMN ENGLISH!
#transgendershooters #cursewords #genitalia
Transgenderism has shaken up English language usage -- from pronoun demands and declarations, to that Canadian police official who got into hot conservative water after the most recent mass shooting by a transgender individual, the one in British Columbia, when he referred to the shooter [bio:male/presentation:female] as a "gunperon" instead of "gunman".
Yet, with all the resultant English language turmoil, major pockets of usage confusion remain, with significant potential to offend. There is still a need to develop and implement more one-word-fits-all generic alternatives.
Take, for example, the still popular anatomy-based curse words, "pr--k" and "c-nt", which are exclusively used against despicable males and females respectively. Say the loathsome object of your disdain is an apparent male -- ostensibly a perfect candidate for the P-word. But also suppose that, unknown to you, this person actually is a transitioned biological female (who not only doesn't possess the corresponding male organ but NEVER had one!) Does the C-word then become the preferred curse choice? Conversely, suppose your target is an apparent female, for whom the C-word would seem appropriate. But again, also suppose that this worthy cursee is actually a bio male who not only lacks the matching female anatomy, more likely than not has retained the male counterpart. Do you go "C"
or dou you go "P"? Finally, don't even get me started on which way to go against someone who does not clearly present as either male or female?
Here's a simple solution to sidestep the problem: a brand new word, a generic option to use in place of either. My suggestion is to fuse the two curse words into a single word -- and I much prefer "prunt" to "crick". But wait, here's an even simpler solution, if you are determined to use an anatomy-based curse: go with that portion of our anatomy which, though significantly different in appearance, as between the male and female manifestations, at least sounds the same for all: a-shole.