Ash 🔪

⚠️ TW , shedtwt ⚠️ 23 / he/they

old sh isn't flagged so don't scroll too far

I do block sprees, largely based on age (under 16 🔫)

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

❗❗ Please only interact with my posts if you are a similar or related account. This prevents me from being discovered / reported by "regular" accounts ❗❗

Otherwise feel free to like or retweet anything of mine ^^

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

But I CAN qrt. God this bullshit app.

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

I can't post replies...

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

I can't post replies...

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

Bruh can I post..

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

Bruh can I post..

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

Thinking about last therapy session it was kinda amusing, I was being asked to make a decision and I was worried about choosing "wrong" and my brain just stopped working, got stuck in thought loops of "I'm being asked a question, I don't know why I can't answer, I'm just thinking

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

@fr13dM1lk It often takes a couple tries to find one that works the best for you but genuinely yes, in April my dose got raised and I've had barely any thoughts of suicide or self harm since, feel less irritable, more motivation, want to see people, and am generally happier with myself

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

Can tell my mother is lonely and stressed cause she went on a drive to a park and video called me

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

@FaintingVulpe Yeah, I get that, I'm looking after 3 cats at the minute and they get they get the zoomies right around 11pm and 4am rip

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

@FaintingVulpe Those treat ball puzzles would probably be good, and balls on tracks are usually pretty entertaining once the cat figures it out, but ultimately the best way to use their energy is one on one play time with you (which can be very frustrating at times, I know)

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

@FaintingVulpe Usually this kind of behaviour is because they've got too much energy and want to play, so more toys/playtime
I don't have any actual toy recommendations but try to look for things that they can play with on their own if you don't have the energy (like me) to play with them

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

God I just want to be able to do it for real. Just fucking scream what's wrong and throw a tantrum. But I'm 23. I can't be doing that.

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

I had a dream yesterday that I just lost it. Things built up and the last straw was ARFID, I threw my food I shouted at everyone, I just let out everything that I'd been feeling. I was screaming about how I felt like this all the time but just held it back

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

It's just that simple

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

Friend is gonna come over to see the cats and they said they'd come "this evening" and "we will give you a heads up when we plan to arrive" now I assumed this meant "we will give you a heads up (soon) when we decide what time we want to come over (and tell you that time)" but

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

I'm so good at people-ing, I asked when they expect to be here and that I like to know plans ahead of time because I go anxious wait mode and they told me

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

@_str4wberrei I fear reading comprehension is dead...

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

Understand the urge or want to kiss and cuddle like that... how often they say "I love you" and one of them is just so needy and clingy it's annoying... maybe I'm just a miserable person...

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

Being aromantic is kinda hard... like the one person I have a dynamic with has moved in with their actual partners, and now the one other person I thought I could have a relationship with is moving out from an abusive ex but she's joined the local transfem polycule so will

[Ash 🔪 @gastergore]

I dont know if any of them would be interested in an aro partner
Sometimes I feel like I'm such a joyless shitty person because how much they kiss annoys me. Like they'll cuddle on the couch and kiss every 30 seconds, the noise kind of triggers my misophonia amd I just don't