al

[al @gbert103]

Red flags f*ck better

[al @gbert103]

Her: “I’m friends with the dj”
Me: “oh cool I’m friends with the strippers”

[al @gbert103]

Would you rather:
Go back in time and make it so you never met
Or
Relive every moment but you’re unable to change outcome

[al @gbert103]

Contemplating texting her “imagine how cute this summer would’ve been if you had acted right”

[al @gbert103]

“You handled that pretty well”
Thanks, I’m still listening to the story so far about it

[al @gbert103]

Just watched #obsession…
I can fix her 🥰

[al @gbert103]

Saw her new man and now I know what the problem was. Couldn’t trust her around ugly dudes either

[al @gbert103]

Women will let you 🥜 in them, but healthy communication is where they draw the line

[al @gbert103]

Her: I bet you have a roster

Me: I’m not even sure a woman has ever had genuine feeling for me

[al @gbert103]

No roster, you all disgust me…

[al @gbert103]

I know you can feel our soul tie you avoidant fuck

[al @gbert103]

2 chainz was right, I love bad bitches and that my fucking problem

[al @gbert103]

Her: why does it taste like lotion?
Me: honestly, I didn’t think you were coming over….

[al @gbert103]

Yea… you’re a baddie, so I’ll beg a little

[al @gbert103]

The pain of what you’re feeling is nothing compared to the joy that’s coming

[al @gbert103]

Freudian slip? Im tryna feel that Freudian grip 😝

[al @gbert103]

I love teaching empaths how to be Machiavellian and make narcissists nervous

[al @gbert103]

Sabrina Carpenter makes music for women who have a Ph imbalance

[al @gbert103]

You’re an instagram emo. I’m a MySpace emo, we are not the same

[al @gbert103]

Sorry for ghosting you for 2 years, I lost my charger haha

Wyd tonight