gefunkt-

This is for fun.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I didn't know Sylvester Stallone is on his third marriage.

I guess his first one was rocky, and his second one was rocky too.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

The guy who invented cough-drops passed away yesterday.

So there will be no coffin at his funeral.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Every fortune teller I’ve ever met is either incredibly depressed or way too enthusiastic.

Why can’t I find a happy medium?

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

My horse only comes out of its stable when it gets dark…

It’s becoming a night mare.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I was the best man at my brother’s wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my champagne glass and said, “Eggs, cinnamon, bread, and maple syrup…”

It was a French toast.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

What do you call a typo carved into a tombstone?

A grave mistake

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I was diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Feefiphobia.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I always keep my guitar in my car now...

It's good for traffic jams.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Not many people know this but I actually studied Dad Jokes in college.

I majored in sighchology

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I caught my neighbor stealing my socks off my clothesline.

I was going to confront him, but I got cold feet.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I made a paper airplane, but it wouldn't fly,

It’s just stationary.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I've lost control. I don't see an end. There is no escape. I don't even have a home anymore.

Guess it's time for a new keyboard.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I went to the doctor with hearing problems.

He said "can you describe the symptoms?"

I said "Homers a fat dude and Marge has blue hair".

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I just saw this fella going up a hill with a wheelbarrow full of horseshoes, four-leaf clovers, and rabbit's feet...

I thought to myself, "He's really pushing his luck!"

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I strictly forbid my kids from watching orchestras.

There's too much sax and violins.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I told my suitcases that there will be no vacation this year.

Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

I went for a run but came back after 2 minutes because I forgot something.

I forgot I'm out of shape and can't run for more than 2 minutes.

[LAnDo NIFFIRG™️🇨🇦 @llandoniffirg]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

Lance is an uncommon name nowadays.

But in mediaeval times people were called lance a lot.