Gemma

🐚🧜🏻‍♀️ 🔱🐠🌿

[Gemma @gemmaple]

🌱✨ #AlwaysWin #BetterSinceForever

[Gemma @gemmaple]

@AskWIZZ Hi is it free to bring one duty free bag on my flight, alongside my baggage allowance?

[Catherine Marshall @zizzyballord]

@jordanbpeterson It's weird how climate change deniers become climate activists the minute a climate activist emits some carbon.

[Gemma @gemmaple]

@CadburyUK #ControlTwirlHype

[Gemma @gemmaple]

Can we all agree that autocorrect gave up with f*cking to ducking, and has quite clearly replaced it with changing brain to Brian. Who’s Brian anyway?

[Gemma @gemmaple]

@jorjafaith I’m just saying.. the phrase “man overboard” is there for a reason 👀

[Gemma @gemmaple]

I’m not saying the turtles owe me, but I just cut my tongue on a piece of plastic free dental floss and cried. So yeah. Life’s going really well, thanks for asking.

[Gemma @gemmaple]

@laurenvallen @seetickets Try going through this link! Normal fan to fan didn’t work but this did!
https://t.co/gi9F3gl3WU

[Gemma @gemmaple]

@Tesco hiya, my parent’s had a delivery due between 10-11am which hasn’t arrived. Conscious of the storm affecting deliveries but they haven’t had any texts or calls to confirm that the order has been cancelled. Are you able to check if it’s still due for delivery today? Thanks

[Prof. Feynman @ProfFeynman]

A listener needs a listener too.

[Gemma @gemmaple]

@jorjafaith Got the same message and said the exact same thing. It’s Boxing Day, don’t start on me huns

[Gemma @gemmaple]

I love this time of year. It’s a daily guessing game of “is this a cheeky spell of seasonal or clinical depression?” ⛄️

[Gemma @gemmaple]

Binge eating my advent calendar, but opening the doors in date order because I’m not a complete monster. ✌🏻

[Gemma @gemmaple]

Here for @innocent tweets, and innocent only 🤚🏻

[innocent drinks @innocent]

Everyone gets a news alert telling them to turn on the TV. We see a small concrete room. Mark Zuckerberg is tied up in the corner, eyes full of fear. A voice comes out of the darkness. “You answer to a new master now”, it says. The lights flicker on. It’s Tom from MySpace.

[Gemma @gemmaple]

@Hermesparcels are you ever going to deliver my ASOS order?
Answer: probably not, but here I am, ready to be hurt again anyway.

[Jenerally Speaking... @LetsPlayJen]

Depression isn't always dark rooms and crying endlessly. Sometimes its getting up, going to work and smiling and laughing all day and then coming home to sit quietly doing little to nothing until its time to go to bed.

[Gemma @gemmaple]

@Ocado when will M&S Plant Kitchen marshmallows be available on Ocado?

[Gemma @gemmaple]

@AsdaServiceTeam have you stopped selling your meat free chicken style joints? Both the plain and the one with stuffing have been unavailable online for a few months now?

[Joe Lycett @joelycett]

Enjoying the sunshine in a park today? Here’s a thought: take your rubbish home you fucking skank!