Sane Talionis

Arborist, writer, gamer, paramedic, soldier, & professional amateur. This is Commander Shepard's favorite Twitter account on the Citadel.

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

"I feel like the modern iteration of the phoenix came about when some dude saw a peacock and said, 'this, but on fire.'"
—my wife

[Dont Show Your Cat @DontShowYourCat]

and the food bowl... was empty!

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

AFAIK, I don’t have ADHD, but I do endorse some of the symptoms.

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

@JoshuaDoetsch Alien tornado. Not like “extraterrestrial weather control technology” but more like “sharknado with these guys”

[T.C. (Theresa) Dale @tc_dale]

'No Way to Prevent This', Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens.

[T.C. (Theresa) Dale @tc_dale]

"We've been doing absolutely nothing for the past twenty years, and the problem hasn't gone away," politicians complain. "What more do you expect us to do?"

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

My wife is basically always blue.

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

I absolutely make this joke at work about being our "tree identification specialist."

The gag started after we rolled up to a job where most of the work was sheering the customer's hedges, with just a tiny bit of fruit tree pruning.

[Khashoggi’s Ghost 🇺🇦🌻 @UROCKlive1]

So Elon wants us all to think he just donated all these terminals and the Internet service to Ukraine, but actually the US is paying him a higher than market price for many of them. No one seems to want to discuss the terms.

Beware of billionaires pretending to bear gifts.

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

@Indigosaurous Thank you.

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

Oh. So uh… this happened over the weekend.

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

@pepperpoplar A hat with stripes, even.

[Kierkegaardians of the Galaxy @SisyphusRedemed]

I see that #IStandWithJKRowling is trending.

I'd like to counter with #IStandWithDonCheadle

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

I think my helmet has officially reached Peak Sticker. I always thought it would be fun to stencil “My Life For Aiur” on the side, but I think that moment has passed.

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

Atta Boomer

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

Caught at the end of the work day.

[Credible Hulk @_Credible_Hulk_]

The Further Adventures of Technically Correct Man.

@maximumble

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

@ScionofFlame It was the mortal blow. And he was so cute when he said it. Delivered with the deadpan confidence of a child who doesn't even know he's making a joke. He fully expected to be praised for being so astute, not have me double over laughing while trying to tuck him in.

[Sane Talionis @GenerallySane]

5 yo: "Hey papa, did you know that the penis gots more skins than our normal bodies?"

me: "What do you mean?"

5: "Because it's gots four skins."

I just got fucking dad joked by my own child. Do I have to turn in my rag and grill tongs now?

[INDEPENDENT PRESS @IpIndependent]

An Al Jazeera team was able to enter the devastated city of Kharkiv in Ukraine after Russia announced a pause in fighting to allow people to leave.

Reporter strat fordch was shocked by what he saw

#Kharkiv #Ukraine️