Jared Evers

Writer, and lover of Belgian ale and fine Scotch whisky

[leia is watching: lost @empressleias]

people blame the loneliness epidemic but i don't think this is about loneliness at all. it is easier to connect with others than ever. this is about hyper-individualism where people are used to having everything tailor made for them, so they never need experience social friction

[Tamoor Hussain @tamoorh]

You go to the only piece of writing that is universally agreed to be more impactful and legendary than The Odyssey, of course: Metal Gear Solid

[Arnold Schwarzenegger @Schwarzenegger]

Nope! I always say there is no such thing as self-made. It’s a myth.

It took millions of people - from my parents to mentors to friends to competitors to fans and voters - to write my success story. I did not write it alone.

That’s the American Dream - not a lie about going it alone - but the truth that none of us do, and there is always someone with their hand out to lift us up.

[CONTROL Resonant 🔻Pre-order Now! @ControlRemedy]

Manalan mailla by Vilma Jää from our Paranatural Manhattan trailer has passed one million streams on Spotify!

Thank you so much! 🕺🎶We are thrilled that the first track from Zoe's Mixtape is so popular 🥰 #CONTROLResonant

[mark normand @marknorm]

This looks like a Disney movie where a 12 year old becomes president

[Everything Price Sufferer (but especially eggs) @agraybee]

I didn't know Helen of Troy could generate so much conflict.

[Natali Simmonds @NJSimmondsbooks]

I wanted to run the London Marathon but training takes too long and is too hard as a pudgy 47yo woman, so I got an Uber to the finish line. It's not fair that athletic people get to gatekeep long-distance running. I'm still a Marathon runner!

This is what AI 'writers' sound like

[Bummer T. Vibes, Esq @VibesBummer]

Before google maps you just had a buddy in another car who said “follow me” then proceeded to run a late yellow at the next intersection.

[Dirt-pai @Beached_Thang]

Calling Death Stranding a walking simulator doesnt bother me anymore. If anything, it highlights how much our society craves instant gratification. The whole point of the game is that the journey itself is the reward.

[Extremely Country @DarrinEvans]

My secret is I married a woman I really liked and I enjoy spending time with my son. I take my son for ice cream every Saturday night and we talk. The absolute best part of my week.

[Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit]

If a monkey hoarded more bananas than it could eat while others starved, scientists would study it to understand what the fuck was wrong with it. Scientists would then watch as all the other monkeys took turns beating that one monkey to death with sticks.

[Many A True Nerd @ManyATrueNerd]

So unrealistic, I bet the sky didn't look even close to that, just let me destroy the consumer PC market for the next decade, and I bet I can make it Photo-Realistic and also add more lipstick to the moon so it's sexier.

[beauty🤍 @beautyskillz]

UNPOPULAR OPINION: Being "too old" for games is a myth made by boring people.

[boss princess ⚯͛ @itsleviOsa934]

is this the same guy going toe to toe with Bondi about the epstein files?? is he the only one working there??

[jourdain searles @judysquirrels]

I am so tired of hearing about shareholders

[its only Joe @JoeTheCynic]

For those mad that Bad Bunny will performing mostly Spanish at halftime and won’t understand, we’ve been listening to Pearl Jam for years and still don’t know what Eddie Vedder is saying

[Covie @covie_93]

Weird how they're not saying this to Nicki Minaj....

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

@KatieMiller Here’s Elon - your former boss - having that lie debunked on live … why did he end it so quickly?

https://t.co/LJhEWu7XgL