Gerald Torres

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

The hot water heater blew – hate cold water showers – I hate them – I am using the work hate here.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Sex is like air – not important unless you are not getting any

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

It is because men are very visually stimulated

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

The Mayans hung a ball on a child’s forehead so he would be cross-eyed. Who you think thought that up?

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Be who you are! DON’T compromise… EVER!

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Cuban people are very genuine.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

It's never too late to have a happy childhood.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

After two days in a hospital I took a turn for the nurse.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Why do pants come in pairs? Shirts have two arms.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

I love Bar-B-Que and potato salad.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

I am afraid New Orleans will never be the same

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Drew Peterson is screwed this time.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Winter Park in Colo. Is my favorite ski resort

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult.

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

[Gerald Torres @geraldtorres]

What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever. Sorry could not resist- ha-ha