My Girl wants to try sky diving. This would be me:
Instructor: "Mike Pull Your Chute"
Me: "Pull My Shoe?"
Instructor: "No, Pull Your Your Parachute"
Me: "Pull My Pair Of Shoes?"
(Later That Day)
Coroner: "Where the hell are his shoes?"
So my neighbors little kid just asked me where "Pooh" came from. So I went into the whole 10 minute scientific talk about eating food, waste matter and what comes out of your butt. When I finished he looked at me teary eyed and said "What about "Tigger" #joke#status
Me: "Once you to Succeed online you will get a lot more Modeling offers"
Model: "Who's Ceed?"
This stuff really happens to me.
#funniesttweets#JokeOfTheDay#StatusForAll
So I now have 1,278 friends on my friends list and I just wanted to wish you all Happy Holidays and to let you know that you are all awesome people. Except #631 Your an A$$hole.