2Sassy4u

Ke$ha is my spirit animal.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

There is currently no word in existence that can accurately describe how hungover I am.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Boob sweat = Bane of my existence

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Currently accepting applications for a sugar daddy.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Reasons why I know I'll be a good mom: I come home drunk from the bar and still take care of my Sims.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Is there even a polite way to tell someone their breath smells like shit?

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Hate to break it to you, but I haven't ever and won't ever kiss anybody's ass.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Things that I love: free margaritas

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Do you hear that? That's the liquor store calling my name.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

@ a basic bitch so they know it's real.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

*changes Facebook relationship status to: Lifetime Commitment with Wine*

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

I literally just said, "Give me the cheapest beer you've got." #storyofmylife

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Tbh, IDGAF.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Wine is bae.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

I need a drink. Or two. Or seven.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Can you just not?

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

All I know is, I hate everybody.

[2Sassy4u @getlikebeyonce]

Already called two people bitches and flipped another one off. Happy Monday!