aly

cause chaos, rock like amadeus

[aly @geturowntots]

if somebody put a gun to my head and told me to denounce Steely Dan’s “Aja” as one of the greatest albums of all time I’d tell them to pull that mother fuckin trigger

[aly @geturowntots]

sometimes I just think about how I went to see primus perform a rush album once and was losing my mind the whole time BUT THEN they started projecting salad fingers as the backdrop and I went absolutely feral

[aly @geturowntots]

really messed up that I never considered this downside of choosing to move into a quiet, elderly neighborhood:

once you settle in and make friends with all of your very politely nosey neighbors, you have to watch them all die one by one.

[aly @geturowntots]

my partner and I are discussing our favorite concerts we’ve been to, the synopsis is that rock n roll just ain’t what it used to be

[aly @geturowntots]

don’t even get me started on the homies’ moms that come out to support me both personally and professionally

[aly @geturowntots]

as a parentless person, nothing hits quite like a random text from a homie’s mom

[aly @geturowntots]

Looking for more friends who just want to share location with me. I don’t want to ask what you’re doing. I don’t even really want to talk to you. Every now and then I want to think “I wonder what they’re up to” and see where you are. That’s all

[aly @geturowntots]

today I discovered a whole new conspiracy theory corner of the internet and long story short, I need a lobotomy now.

[aly @geturowntots]

I don’t care if you’re married, I don’t care how long you’ve been married, if I met you prior to your marriage then your contact will have your maiden name in my phone forever, I’m not changing it

[aly @geturowntots]

adult life is so funny like my friend and I are just sharing the dirty deets on credit building and bargain shopping for decent produce as if it’s high school gossip, responding “no way!” and shit

[aly @geturowntots]

literally nothing warms my heart like my hunny showing off my garden to his friends and bragging on me

[aly @geturowntots]

sometimes a dress is only as good as the shape wear beneath it

[aly @geturowntots]

was invited to dinner with a group of strangers and immediately told them how I pooped my pants today

[CS2 HQ @CS2HQ]

do you eat the cereal kief or no

[aly @geturowntots]

I am dangerously close to treating restaurants like the college cafeteria and asking strangers that are dining alone if I can sit with them

[Yesterday's Print @yesterdaysprint]

Bismarck Tribune, North Dakota, October 26, 1883

[GIRTH ANGEL @jennyguinevere]

pov you’re getting tattooed by me

[aly @geturowntots]

there’s a silver haired woman that walks her silver faced dog down my street and anytime I get to witness them passing, hearing the way she talks to him it is the highlight of my day

[aly @geturowntots]

Somebody tell me how the halftime show ended with me in the floor screaming and a couch cushion in the dining room

[aly @geturowntots]

@getwikid I love it!!!

[aly @geturowntots]

no matter what happens next I love Dan Campbell with my whole heart