pursuing excellence through obsession
a little reminder that even top entrepreneurs think everything into existence
highly functioning fanatic of the mind
moving cribs in a few days. should probably feel mega gassed about it. don’t get me wrong, i am. pure realm of ecstasy. still tho. can’t get out of mind this eerie feeling of loss. loss of the safety net. the only thing that keeps me from spiralling downwards into the void of despair. i’m fucking excited for this new chapter. it feels real. it sits right. the real battle has only begun.
i don’t even care to look at what’s behind me.
if you are not teaching, you are doing something wrong.
there is no reason for you to not be passing down knowledge that can improve someone’s life. you’re always learning anyway, might as well get paid for it.
i believe this is the best piece i ever wrote, and i will stand by it.
read it now.
life is hard as a man already
especially one that never had a male role model
i tried to express it all inside this piece, holding off anger and acting emotionless throughout years. i must say it is extremely difficult at times
this does never change, but you do
the art of detachment is a strong belief
if you believe that everything is simply an experience
nothing else
"i should've unalived you myself"
2:13am. message is already typed out. my thumb is hovering over da send button...
it’s a lovely feeling. knowing i have full control and extreme power. it’s what i’ve always strived for. and I reread it back a few times & every time it lands cleaner than before
one tap
& he feels a friction of what I’ve been carrying on my shoulders all my life
i didn’t send it
not because i feel better than this, and i’m trying to be a bigger person. i wanted to click send more than i’ve wanted most things in life
a cold raspy voice inside my mind spoke to me
and hit me with a question that challenged my conscience
does this make superior to him, or does it spike my dopamine + prolactin for a couple seconds?
couple seconds. that’s all you get for pouring out a lifetime’s worth of hot anger. maybe a whole minute & half a feeling like you accomplished something. then it’s back to normal
everything goes back to how it was
obviously, i deleted the message. put the phone face down, put dnd on & ever since then spent the coming years making sure i become someone better than him
hot anger talks the talk
cold anger walks the walk
what stands out is… it makes you into two completely different men
a hot one that is transparent, you can always see him coming, needing you two know he’s been wronged with. there is something almost quite innocent about it. he wants validation, like a pretty girl who hasn’t been called pretty today
a cold one that is the exact opposite, instead of wanting you to know he feels a certain way, he pours everything into a foundation of success, quietly. for years if that’s what it takes
before he disappeared, my father taught me hot anger by accident. i observed how he acts during arguments, and funnily enough, he always wound up losing.
i realised early on in my life that winning an argument is not a good thing.
rather winning the one thing that argument was about
rightly so
even ancient stoics were obsessed with this insight… that the man who angers you, controls you
and the second you give him a reaction, you’ve handed him the strings
that said. i don’t fully love how stoics put it. because it makes you into a lesser man. and i don’t feel any less. infact, i feel everything. i just refuse to let it out where it can be used against me. study game theory
logic over emotion
always
the guy who never shows off any emotion is the one you should watch closely
& i know this well… because i became him
i can sit across the hottest goth baddie who is too eager to know me, and act like i don’t care. i’d rather play with my stainless steel zippo
why?
because feeling anything is the only thing that stop my journey
that’s the part that unsettles guys who finally get it.
rightly so
but don’t worry tho
when a feeling rises in you next time… and you know it will. sooner or later…
you’ve got 2 options…
burn it now
and feel a quick dopamine rush
or bank it & go quiet
don’t give them a way to answer
act cold until successful
the fire was never the point
what you make in the cold with it always was
remember
stay schizo.
g2Ø.
"i should've unalived you myself"
2:13am. message is already typed out. my thumb is hovering over da send button...
it’s a lovely feeling. knowing i have full control and extreme power. it’s what i’ve always strived for. and I reread it back a few times & every time it lands cleaner than before
one tap
& he feels a friction of what I’ve been carrying on my shoulders all my life
i didn’t send it
not because i feel better than this, and i’m trying to be a bigger person. i wanted to click send more than i’ve wanted most things in life
a cold raspy voice inside my mind spoke to me
and hit me with a question that challenged my conscience
does this make superior to him, or does it spike my dopamine + prolactin for a couple seconds?
couple seconds. that’s all you get for pouring out a lifetime’s worth of hot anger. maybe a whole minute & half a feeling like you accomplished something. then it’s back to normal
everything goes back to how it was
obviously, i deleted the message. put the phone face down, put dnd on & ever since then spent the coming years making sure i become someone better than him
hot anger talks the talk
cold anger walks the walk
what stands out is… it makes you into two completely different men
a hot one that is transparent, you can always see him coming, needing you two know he’s been wronged with. there is something almost quite innocent about it. he wants validation, like a pretty girl who hasn’t been called pretty today
a cold one that is the exact opposite, instead of wanting you to know he feels a certain way, he pours everything into a foundation of success, quietly. for years if that’s what it takes
before he disappeared, my father taught me hot anger by accident. i observed how he acts during arguments, and funnily enough, he always wound up losing.
i realised early on in my life that winning an argument is not a good thing.
rather winning the one thing that argument was about
rightly so
even ancient stoics were obsessed with this insight… that the man who angers you, controls you
and the second you give him a reaction, you’ve handed him the strings
that said. i don’t fully love how stoics put it. because it makes you into a lesser man. and i don’t feel any less. infact, i feel everything. i just refuse to let it out where it can be used against me. study game theory
logic over emotion
always
the guy who never shows off any emotion is the one you should watch closely
& i know this well… because i became him
i can sit across the hottest goth baddie who is too eager to know me, and act like i don’t care. i’d rather play with my stainless steel zippo
why?
because feeling anything is the only thing that stop my journey
that’s the part that unsettles guys who finally get it.
rightly so
but don’t worry tho
when a feeling rises in you next time… and you know it will. sooner or later…
you’ve got 2 options…
burn it now
and feel a quick dopamine rush
or bank it & go quiet
don’t give them a way to answer
act cold until successful
the fire was never the point
what you make in the cold with it always was
remember
stay schizo.
g2Ø.
"i should've unalived you myself"
2:13am. message is already typed out. my thumb is hovering over da send button...
it’s a lovely feeling. knowing i have full control and extreme power. it’s what i’ve always strived for. and I reread it back a few times & every time it lands cleaner than before
one tap
& he feels a friction of what I’ve been carrying on my shoulders all my life
i didn’t send it
not because i feel better than this, and i’m trying to be a bigger person. i wanted to click send more than i’ve wanted most things in life
a cold raspy voice inside my mind spoke to me
and hit me with a question that challenged my conscience
does this make superior to him, or does it spike my dopamine + prolactin for a couple seconds?
couple seconds. that’s all you get for pouring out a lifetime’s worth of hot anger. maybe a whole minute & half a feeling like you accomplished something. then it’s back to normal
everything goes back to how it was
obviously, i deleted the message. put the phone face down, put dnd on & ever since then spent the coming years making sure i become someone better than him
hot anger talks the talk
cold anger walks the walk
what stands out is… it makes you into two completely different men
a hot one that is transparent, you can always see him coming, needing you two know he’s been wronged with. there is something almost quite innocent about it. he wants validation, like a pretty girl who hasn’t been called pretty today
a cold one that is the exact opposite, instead of wanting you to know he feels a certain way, he pours everything into a foundation of success, quietly. for years if that’s what it takes
before he disappeared, my father taught me hot anger by accident. i observed how he acts during arguments, and funnily enough, he always wound up losing.
i realised early on in my life that winning an argument is not a good thing.
rather winning the one thing that argument was about
rightly so
even ancient stoics were obsessed with this insight… that the man who angers you, controls you
and the second you give him a reaction, you’ve handed him the strings
that said. i don’t fully love how stoics put it. because it makes you into a lesser man. and i don’t feel any less. infact, i feel everything. i just refuse to let it out where it can be used against me. study game theory
logic over emotion
always
the guy who never shows off any emotion is the one you should watch closely
& i know this well… because i became him
i can sit across the hottest goth baddie who is too eager to know me, and act like i don’t care. i’d rather play with my stainless steel zippo
why?
because feeling anything is the only thing that stop my journey
that’s the part that unsettles guys who finally get it.
rightly so
but don’t worry tho
when a feeling rises in you next time… and you know it will. sooner or later…
you’ve got 2 options…
burn it now
and feel a quick dopamine rush
or bank it & go quiet
don’t give them a way to answer
act cold until successful
the fire was never the point
what you make in the cold with it always was
remember
stay schizo.
g2Ø.
delusional until it becomes real
all my life, i've been getting stared down upon by little peasants
like a sociopath, i smile back and refuse to show off emotions. in the end, I know i'll be the one on top
a humble nature in me tells me not to, to keep a balance
fuck balance
i used to collect looks mfs give me, and upload it into an archive to analyse later
& somewhere along the way I stopped despising it. don't get me wrong, I hate humanity more than anyone else you met. but now, I understand the deeper meaning behind it
it is not doubt
self defence is a better fitting description
cuz if the life i preach is possible... then what does that make the last few years of their life?
honestly, nobody survives that question
specially not a sane human
so,
they look at you with envy, and a awkward smirk behind a mask
you're still crazy in their eyes
but whatever makes them have a good night sleep...
...fine, i'll be crazy then. idc
to me,
delusion is simply faith that hasn't clocked in yet
think about what you're actually asking a man to do
believe in something that does not exist yet
no results to be shown
no one clapping
strictly speaking, just a guy who insists on living in a different dimension only he can see... for months, maybe even years
while everyone around him gangs up on him, telling to quit
that's not a mindset
it is closer to religion
staying in the mix so long, with fire burning deep inside, to still stay hungry for it?
it comes to the delusional. always has
every founder you admire looked crazy at some point. talking to himself about conquering empires while eating rice and beans
writing perfectly optimised marketing ads to zero followers
training to be ready for war
i'd spent long hours analysing guys who made it out with aspirin & caffeine by my side, to understand why going insane gets you success
what i realised is
even mfs who are at the top now, never had it easy
yeah, now they're drowning in $$$... but at the time?
even their mothers was having doubts
nobody warns you that the phase of being doubted is necessary. there is just no way around it. the deep worry of the people who love you the most is a side quest to see if you're built for this
after years of arguing with my mother and girlfriend, losing pretty much all of my homies, i believe i paid the price
there is no shame in this
i'd talk about this type of obsession with myself, in the mirror... and hear my own voice replying
the refusal to quit and ability to bounce back is what kept me going
at some point, I had almost quit, but we're still in the game baby
i don't fully understand why i didn't
i'd love to live a life with no worry, quietly reply to emails & make enough money to survive
but the more i think about it...
the more i understand i am not built for that life
sort of stubbornness that lives below thought that knows deep down i am supposed to live a high life
i felt the life i was destined to be living, tapping at the glass...
when i decided to open it...
everything changed
literally everything
so, my point is...
the world doesn't reward realistic guys
it employs them
only crazy enough will survive this game
i'd rather die the right way, than live it the wrong way
i'd rather burn years on something that sounds too fanatical/delusional to some
than keep myself inferior to live a life i never wanted
look around you...
everything you see...
was once one human's inner dream that they refused to wake up from
reflect on this
and refuse to wake up from that dream
that's the whole game
everything always comes back to this...
hold the picture longer than reasonable
reality catches up eventually
it always catches up to crazy minded
stay schizo.
g2Ø.
be the guy others look up to
only a select few will never be forgotten. is this the right way of life for you?
cycle of life. humans die. new ones get born
never ending, until all mfs turn homo
it’s a first sign that the end is near
there is a select few that people quote constantly
others disappear with the passing of time
the competitive nature brewing in me says I cannot be forgotten
not to sound too egotistical, but it’s a masculine need for people to know for the generations to come that there once was this one crazy minded guy who used to spit some serious game while faded off stacks of nicotine & caffeine…
that no one knows what his face looks like
incognito upon death
was thinking quite alot about this. staying under da radar, with only a macbook, my sexy brunette, and a lifetime supply of ribeye steaks
following very niche passions, and bragging on online about my male rituals
that’s for sure a dream
and i strongly believe, eventually it will become real
it all exists inside my mind, I am aware of it, but everything I think of, becomes reality with enough hope
even the darkest trails of thought
nothing has meaning, unless you create one
then, you realise you can simply transcend your limits
things nobody can really argue with
as it is truly your own
no one else’s
anyhow, there is a certain way of life that abides a few rules to dominate the game…
things i learnt while cherishing the beauty of life, and soaking up the shines of the sun. i deconstruct everything into first principles, and analyse feelings that come after
how do greats do it?
how did others decide they are worth writing books about?
how some are still on our minds, and use their teachings every day?
the obsessive desire to know the answer showed me a way
i try. i delusionally try to step onto it, with a big smile and redshot eyes. i’m too exhausted trying to pretend I don’t want to be one of the greats
chances are slim, but never impossible
truth is
the time will tell
whether it is dying forgotten or living up to my fullest potential to be written stories about, i do not control events written in my story
however, what i can control is the actions i take to increase the likelihood of it happening
it is a bigger fight than with myself
i fight for my purpose to be seen
possibly worshiped (i.e only by pretty girls tho)
get other mfs talking, and stand by it, without needing to prove myself
proof is for the skeptical/unsure fools
i’ve proved myself enough to know i am destined to step onto the path of greatness
and what others make of it, is for them to know
either follow the schizo movement, or don’t
life as a man is already hard enough, there will be times you want to give up, more than anything
under NO circumstances, you can���t
imagine, there is a young clueless guy, staring at a blank screen late at night, losing hope that a different way of life is possible, everything he tried up until this point hasn’t worked
you were once that guy
did you already forget?
how did you feel in that moment?
and how much would you sacrifice to know what you know now?
it is your sacred duty as a man
to be worth remembering in this game
to pass on the teachings onto others, and take them out from the pains you experienced before
become so great, they will urge to step onto your way of life
and copy everything you do
a way of life that’s worth stepping on (even if it means going a bit mad, it’s for the greater good)
do it for your own bloodline
that’s the best gift of life any man can give
understand this deeply
never forgotten
stay schizo.
g2Ø.
zero desire to fit in.
big believer that everything in life is optional.
like it or not. life is a game of taste.
the juiciest pussy wins a mans heart. its a tell she takes good care of herself, can’t entertain no skank.
a fire playlist full of gems makes you unique. nobody else digs this deep.
reeking of a niche arabic scent that reels any bitch so close to smell your neck. dior sauvage is overplayed. the game is ascending.
whoever refuses to play, gets left on the sidelines.
and I hated this idea.
as a arrogant guy with high narcissism percentile & superiority complex, I did not want to be seeing others above me.
in my eyes, mfs shall be below me at any given time. stay down kid.
more than anything, I had the urge to max out my “aura” that I’m impossible to ignore.
a slight scan of my room, and the signs that I’m doing good are obviously there.
everything is curated towards my taste. and I mean everything.
chosen to match the vibe I’m optimising for, that lives only in my head. nowhere else. nothing I do is accidental.
& that… that takes a real ball knower to understand that complete control over aesthetics/taste… IS what brings you such a powerful peace of mind that I cannot put it into enough words to describe it to mfs who haven’t experienced it.
as I see the world, the guy who put extreme effort into tailoring every little detail towards a life he ACTUALLY wants to life… is considered a very very powerful opponent. and I’d go as far as to say, he has a significantly better chance of succeeding in all areas of life.
even girls. that’s why I stumble upon so many guys who perform an act. it’s all to fit into the female gaze. I respect the hustle.
this takes work. but who said life is easy.
life gets easy, only if you really put it into action…
all the colognes I spray on are tested by me, and deeply researched, so I know what fires up girl’s pheromones. I’m never a one note guy, it’s boring.
tobacco vanille whenever I’m out working in the local cafe, who said a cold schizo operator can’t smell like a perfectly brewed coffee?
but I don’t like my women like i like my coffee.
if I did, I’d order a flat white w 3 spoons of sugar.
xerjoff naxos is a controversial pick. but it hooks any bad bitch when it’s midnight, and I’m walking back to my crib from the gym.
note this tho. I’m not just wearing a fragrance to smell good. i’m installing a state of mind.
never underestimate the power of smelling good.
my room’s black matte with tiny accents of sacramento state green to add into the vibe. dimly lit red light always hits the spot at night. it’s mine. my whole philosophy made into a real life object.
every object earned its place to be in here. whether by amplifying focus, or levelling up the aesthetics game.
my identity is anchored onto this aesthetics lifestyle. I even try to get the golden ratio right, because I can’t be looking like a swole steroid retard. peptides are really just an enhancer of taste.
big fan of only wearing black fits too. it kills the decision making in the morning, and i always end up looking clean and put together. dressing this way screams luxury, and also fits the pattern.
won’t ever get tired of living life this way.
I create my own reality. how can I get tired?
slowly… putting pieces together… to compose a true masterpiece.
somewhere along this journey, a lot of profound things will happen to you.
one thing for sure.
you’ll realise that the gap between who you are, and who you desire to become is thin.
and when you start living it the way you’d do if you were already at your desired identity…
that gap closes quickly.
you ARE already living like him.
what’s stopping you from actually being HIM?
it’s bound to happen.
and that is where true peace comes from. nothing else.
every day is the DAY.
if you believe it hard enough.
like a true artist.
the brush is in your hands. always was.
life is your canvas.
paint a beautiful image.
life.
in its charming form.
stay schizo.
g2Ø.
zero desire to fit in.
big believer that everything in life is optional.
like it or not. life is a game of taste.
the juiciest pussy wins a mans heart. its a tell she takes good care of herself, can’t entertain no skank.
a fire playlist full of gems makes you unique. nobody else digs this deep.
reeking of a niche arabic scent that reels any bitch so close to smell your neck. dior sauvage is overplayed. the game is ascending.
whoever refuses to play, gets left on the sidelines.
and I hated this idea.
as a arrogant guy with high narcissism percentile & superiority complex, I did not want to be seeing others above me.
in my eyes, mfs shall be below me at any given time. stay down kid.
more than anything, I had the urge to max out my “aura” that I’m impossible to ignore.
a slight scan of my room, and the signs that I’m doing good are obviously there.
everything is curated towards my taste. and I mean everything.
chosen to match the vibe I’m optimising for, that lives only in my head. nowhere else. nothing I do is accidental.
& that… that takes a real ball knower to understand that complete control over aesthetics/taste… IS what brings you such a powerful peace of mind that I cannot put it into enough words to describe it to mfs who haven’t experienced it.
as I see the world, the guy who put extreme effort into tailoring every little detail towards a life he ACTUALLY wants to life… is considered a very very powerful opponent. and I’d go as far as to say, he has a significantly better chance of succeeding in all areas of life.
even girls. that’s why I stumble upon so many guys who perform an act. it’s all to fit into the female gaze. I respect the hustle.
this takes work. but who said life is easy.
life gets easy, only if you really put it into action…
all the colognes I spray on are tested by me, and deeply researched, so I know what fires up girl’s pheromones. I’m never a one note guy, it’s boring.
tobacco vanille whenever I’m out working in the local cafe, who said a cold schizo operator can’t smell like a perfectly brewed coffee?
but I don’t like my women like i like my coffee.
if I did, I’d order a flat white w 3 spoons of sugar.
xerjoff naxos is a controversial pick. but it hooks any bad bitch when it’s midnight, and I’m walking back to my crib from the gym.
note this tho. I’m not just wearing a fragrance to smell good. i’m installing a state of mind.
never underestimate the power of smelling good.
my room’s black matte with tiny accents of sacramento state green to add into the vibe. dimly lit red light always hits the spot at night. it’s mine. my whole philosophy made into a real life object.
every object earned its place to be in here. whether by amplifying focus, or levelling up the aesthetics game.
my identity is anchored onto this aesthetics lifestyle. I even try to get the golden ratio right, because I can’t be looking like a swole steroid retard. peptides are really just an enhancer of taste.
big fan of only wearing black fits too. it kills the decision making in the morning, and i always end up looking clean and put together. dressing this way screams luxury, and also fits the pattern.
won’t ever get tired of living life this way.
I create my own reality. how can I get tired?
slowly… putting pieces together… to compose a true masterpiece.
somewhere along this journey, a lot of profound things will happen to you.
one thing for sure.
you’ll realise that the gap between who you are, and who you desire to become is thin.
and when you start living it the way you’d do if you were already at your desired identity…
that gap closes quickly.
you ARE already living like him.
what’s stopping you from actually being HIM?
it’s bound to happen.
and that is where true peace comes from. nothing else.
every day is the DAY.
if you believe it hard enough.
like a true artist.
the brush is in your hands. always was.
life is your canvas.
paint a beautiful image.
life.
in its charming form.
stay schizo.
g2Ø.
how do you call it being lucky?
when I’m in my lab 12 hours / day
cancelling plans with homies to work
eating nothing but organic food
falling asleep thinking about the next move
still sure luck is involved?