Lt. Dan

If life is twice as pretty once you're dead, then send me a card.

[Ali @AJ_F612]

Ayo

[McRib @McR1B69]

Soon you will be able to buy food with the buying food card

[Praise @tufpraise]

The worst person you know 🤝🏽 turning to God when it's time to take accountability

[kar @bustitopen420]

they did not like this one

[John (Anarcho Cat) @anarcho_cat]

This fish looks like he’s going to give all my money to Israel.

[Skyler Shuler @SkylerShuler]

This you?

[Lt. Dan @gingerkittyy]

Postpartum periods are fucking terrible.

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

This was one of the scariest scenes to watch as a kid.

[rose @wynrosei]

They used to throw women in the water to see if they were witches. If they drowned, they were innocent.

Now they're saying the only abortion exception is if the woman's life is at risk. If she dies, she was at risk.

You can see the recurring flaw in the methodology.

[tailKATE 💜⚾️🖤 @COgirlWIworld]

Nah, he’s included. Next question.

[chris evans @notcapnamerica]

Brokeback

[Triiad ୭୭ @triiadxx]

Get pregnant and show them how it's done sir

[kyle @kyledxniel]

Here he comes

[‏ؘ @helllojojo]

i have enough on my plate now i gotta worry about giraffes

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

Just the same way your hairline is receding and i know you wanted to have hair. It's not in their personal control. Hope that helps.

[sav @smokingsexxtion]

mama that’s a drill bit

[👁️baepparition ✨ @eztirabetaskiin]

"male loneliness epidemic" you mean the consequences of their actions?

[President-Elect Toguro @PresidentToguro]

The vape store cashier watching me hit "no tip" on the iPad

[R🔅x 🇵🇸🏳️‍🌈 (Sun Cult Priestess) 🌹🖕🧊 @Staroxvia]

thank you riley gaines for telling us to drink whole milk so we too can grow up to peak in life winning 5th place in a collegiate swim competition