@holthyde_@OlenkaPlushie no need apologize i understand! it can be stressful when it seems like a million are ganging up on something intimate as your identity, before i commented saw that you said people were being quite rude to you, so i thought it was important to approach it with kindess instead.
@holthyde_ its true that a lot of people use these terms interchangeably! but its mostly because people dont go out their way research the difference between them, lesbian history is quite understudied. and they are very similar in spellings so i understand confusion.
@holthyde_@OlenkaPlushie i dont see it discussed as often its but quite similar to the masc vs. butch conversation. where being masc like i how described fem is simply a presentation whereas butch is a lesbian identity rooted in history and specific roles they played in their community as well as society
@holthyde_@OlenkaPlushie i understand the confusion since the spellings are easy to mix up, there is often overlap with these identities because femme lesbians can be described as 'fem' as well but being feminine is only a small part in the roles femme lesbians play in our communality :o)
@holthyde_@OlenkaPlushie yes! 'fem' is a form of presentation, simply short for feminine. while femme is a specific identity used by lesbians who are considered 'feminine of center' who also preform femininity in a way that is subversive to men.
@holthyde_@OlenkaPlushie hey! this isnt me trying to police your labels or anything but as a lesbian, more importantly a femme lesbian i just want to educate you that 'femme' is a sociopolitical lesbian identity, and goes much deeper than simply feminine presentation.