marquis de sad

Yes, but Lincoln had for his comrades great, green-plumed forest monarchs.

[Victoria Rose @woahhvickyyy]

If I sleep with you outside of marriage I actually Hate you

[Lil B THE BASEDGOD @LILBTHEBASEDGOD]

The bells and collars on the cats could be giving them mental health issues remove them ! I love you! - Lil B

[Fernando Borretti @zetalyrae]

I feel like I would not predict the existence of rivers from first principles. I'd imagine the water runs off the landscape in a uniform layer as a one-time event after rain. Water avalanches yes, rivers no.

[Fleipe Dp dPoi Ofcial @FelipeDiPoi]

This isn’t “satisfying” to me. The idea of a knife going into glass makes me shudder. But then as the knife cuts in, the consistency doesn’t match the material. So to me it’s not successful at all

[bink @knotbink]

Just let your girlfriend be crazy like who cares bro

[Thomas White @len0killer]

I’m hands down the fattest boyfriend in Brandy Melville right now

[GoliathFan1952 @ByYourLogic]

openers that fail on Instagram-
“Hey, I’ve been meaning to check out [thing] how is it?l

“clean ur mirror!!”

“how are you?”

openers that unconditionally work-
“I’m no longer fat. I look like my most recent pic, from 2019”

“remember Ding Fries Are Done?”

“I’m fat now”

[Milk Ape 🦍 @milk__ape]

Human focus on battle why Not 100 human enjoy delicious berry together with Gorilla relax under tree canopy Unlimited Peace 🍑🍇🍒🥝🥥🫐🍎🍓🍓🍋🍌🍍🍍🍌🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🦍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🧍🫐🍎🍋🍊🍍🍉🍉🍌🥭🥥🫐🍎🍑🍊🍒

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

Women like it when you begin every message to them with "O Tigress,"

[Tao Lin @tao_lin]

I'm both pro-autism and anti-autism.

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

Sydney Sweeney: (sitting next to me at bus stop) Do u think u could keep me company for a bit? I missed my bus :/

Me: (inventing a word to impress her) that's Haunchious

[thornhead @wormsofbarlo]

(on the tl) lmaooo the confederation of elven lineages has another thing coming if it thinks it can force the hand of the kingdoms of men
(2 seconds later in an elf woman's DMs) 🥺 do it rly be squirting rose water

[Burner @BurnerDontask]

You ever get so high/clouted you get scared

[pavlo @LaughterHaver]

Yelling gf on subway: You did NOT just say I reminded you of your mother

Dialogue Tree

=>Erm. This is my stop *jumps out window*

=>She’s hot as fuck 🤷‍♂️

=>Sorry, I can’t tell Virgos apart

Passing Hint Sign in tunnel: Talking about astrology is a good way to get some pussy!

[birdbath @birdbath]

Trying to order Dominos but can't remember my password. GF says I don't need to login. I NEED the reward points you bitch. Realizing none of my ancestors have ever gone through this, an indescribable loneliness permeates my mood. I've been sitting at a green light for 30 seconds.

[GoliathFan1952 @ByYourLogic]

I FOUND MY LUCKY VAPE! oh man, I can’t tell you how big of a deal this is. look for things everywhere to start getting way better. not immediately but definitely next year

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

hey man check out this meme about a member of a popular boy band dying out of a hotel window, it will hit differnent due to the darkness of today's world