No one talks enough about how exhausting it is to continuously be the one who “gives grace”. In a lot of instances, you’re giving grace at the expense of putting someone else’s needs before your own.
I read a quote that said, “You can be the prettiest shade of green, but you’ll never be enough for someone whose favorite color is blue,” and it really stuck with me.
there was a point where i stopped wondering what i did wrong and started noticing how often i was the only one adjusting. that shift didn’t heal anything, but it stopped the self-blame.
"your trauma made u stronger". nah my trauma made me traumatized. it made me become an overthinker, it gave me memory loss, and it gave me feelings i've never wanted. i made myself stronger. i accepted the situation for what it was and moved on from it.
This year has taught me that a good year can also be a hard year. I have held joy and pain in equal measure. The joy hasn't made it less painful & the pain hasn't made it less joyful. It’s the year I learnt what it means to hold all things in a delicate balance.
You can literally feel it in your soul when it's TIME. time to move on from people, time to make a change in your life, time to get rid of unhealthy habits, time to want MORE for yourself. At some point, you'll just KNOW. That's your call
one of the main reasons i'm so gentle with myself is cause i believe i've already experienced enough hardship in my life. i've already been mishandled and undervalued by others and myself at times. so i deserve more patience, forgiveness, and consideration at this point.