Definitely not Evan

professional hazard

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

I’ll probably just watch lord of the rings

[afab fantano @sufjandefender]

that dog in me had to be put down

[Jon Bois @jon_bois]

9:30 am is my favorite time to get up. you get to feel like you slept in just a little bit without feeling like you’ve missed out on much. shout out to 9:30

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@FrazzleMyGimp skipped to the first spoken line and was pretty much comedically satisfied

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@lia2525lia you're so based for this

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

not satire i've been in dc for 5 years and the only place to get a cold cut is subway

[sensory homunculette @myfriendcallie]

God i love new york. Where else in the world can you get a sandwich

[Haus of Decline @hausofdecline]

Pink Floyd is amazing because their original frontman was a genius, one of a kind, top of his generation of songwriter, and then he got too sick to perform and one of the other band members said "I'll have a go" and he also happened to be a genius, one of a kind songwriter

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@HelloCullen why would you hide this in the replies

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@TownsUsa this really is all you get for your money

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@lia2525lia

[⚜️bradley⚜️ @bradapalooza]

As a Rascal Flatt Earther I believe that Earth is a highway

[trash jones @jzux]

someone once told me “if you can see a mountain lion, that means it isn’t hunting you.” every day since i have lived in terror

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@TownsUsa that is 100% the lincoln memorial

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@lia2525lia great news

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@depthsofwiki Rip gay fencer

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

It feels illegal that banks can just withhold your deposit for like a week

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@lia2525lia anti-Lia

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@lia2525lia how to dislike tweet

[Definitely not Evan @goattoad]

@judysquirrels exactly what happens when these execs and producers get their dick all up in the process looking to maximize profits/trendability and then end up bombing at the box office