god.eth

🛠️ Dark-minded | 🔗 Crypto Enthusiast & Web3 Explorer | ⚙️ Building in shadows, investing in futures | ⚡ Turning gears & blockchains

[YabaLeftOnline @yabaleftonline]

Valid or not?

[Mwangî @archiemwas]

My dad says he always sides with his wife because at least he knows she’s his. We, on the other hand, were just brought home from the hospital and introduced to him. 😂😂

[🦇 @BIG_PRIME01]

pure wickedness.

[Oge of Web3 @official_QV]

Market woman quoted ₦5,000.

I said ₦2,000.

She gasped like I had insulted her ancestors.

Walked away.

I kept walking too.

She called me back.

“Oya bring 2,500.”

The whole performance is choreography. Both parties know the ending. We just enjoy the show. 😂

[YabaLeftOnline @yabaleftonline]

😂😂

[DEE ❤ @Olami_deeEbony]

My friend rented an apartment in January. Because it was a newly built house, the rooms had no doors yet and the tiling in one of the rooms wasn't completed. Every other thing was neatly in place.

The landlord assured her that the doors would be fixed and the tiling completed immediately after payment, so she went ahead and paid the full rent and other charges because she really liked the apartment.

One week passed, then another. Excuses after excuses. This continued for 2 months until her previous rent expired and she had no choice but to move into the apartment without room doors and with unfinished tiles.

Whenever she complained, the landlord begged for "just one more week." Eventually, she confronted him, and he confessed that he had used the rent money to solve family problems.

Then he told her to use her own money to fix the doors and complete the tiling, promising to deduct it from her next year's rent.

My friend cried the whole day.

Some landlords don't have conscience.

[Itohan 🐘 🌟 💜 supremos baby @itohan_olat]

I just heard a wild story 😭😭😭

A newly married couple were at home, and the wife was helping her husband shave his beard with a r@zor bl@de and shaving cream.

While doing it, she jokingly said, “What if I just cvt your neck?”

The next day, the husband packed all her belongings, took her back to her parents’ house, and informed them that she was on a six-month probation because of that comment.

Six months later, he returned, picked her up, and took her back home, saying he hoped she had learned her lesson. 😭😂

[Ebun @kenkenlewu]

There's a woman in my office who never misses an opportunity to remind me that I'm "getting old" and should be married by now.

Almost every week, it's the same story:

"You need to marry before 30."

"I got married at 23."

Yesterday, I mentioned that I needed permission to write an exam.

She said:

"Na only book you sabi. If you finish PhD, who go marry you? Make sure you marry before 30."

She continues.....

I replied:

"You that got married at 23, you've never had a child till now. What's stopping you? My sister is your age, and her third child is already in university."

Instant silence.

The entire office went quiet.

My WhatsApp is full of messages from colleagues saying I shouldn't have said that🥺🥺

[Ebun @kenkenlewu]

My landlord refused to open the gate for a tenant rushing to a job interview at 6am.

His reason?

"Gate opens by 7am."

The tenant begged. My landlord didn't budge.

So the tenant broke the padlock and left for his interview.

That evening, my landlord returned with police officers to arrest him.

The police asked neighbours:

"Did the tenant sleep here last night?"

"No."

"Then who broke the padlock?"

Everyone pointed at my landlord's son.

The officers turned to my landlord:

"Sir, this isn't the story you told us."

Before they left, my landlord paid ₦100,000 for wasting their time.

[Àgbà John Doe @jon_d_doe]

A single mother in her late 30s was dating a divorced man in his 60s.

He took good care of her and her child.

Infact, the child and the man had started doing father-child bonding, and he was even doing school runs.

He rented an apartment for her and furnished it and everything was good.

Single mother said that she wanted more and marriage.

Man wasn't interested in marriage but wanted to keep her as his mistress and said he doesn't want any child too.

Single mother got connected to a man living abroad, and the man came to Nigeria to see her.

The man promised her marriage and got her pregnant.

The other man warned her but she said she was "in love" with the abroad man.

Single mother carried the pregnancy to term and gave birth to the child.

Child developed complications and didn't survive after a few months.

Abroad man abandoned single mother and stopped picking her calls and blocked her.

Former man had moved on and dissociated himself from single mother and the child that he had bonded with for over two years.

Single mother could no longer afford the rent and school fees of the school where former man was graciously paying for.

Now single mother is living in regrets.

Man has found another mistress and is now bonding with the new mistress and her child.

New mistress lives pretty close to former mistress, and man goes to see new mistress in the full glare of former mistress, and has bought new mistress a car while former mistress treks and is looking dejected.

End.

[Pharaoh👳🏾‍♂️👑 @MrMekzy_]

I told my guy that i was hungry yesterday and he asked me to take out soup from the freezer so i can defrost. Immediately i opened it and reached for the plate, that was the last thing i remembered for like 3 seconds. Everywhere first blur, i stood there totally shocked wondering what happened. Only for this bagger lizard to come and ask me if it shocked me, i nodded. He now said “no vex abeg i for tell you to wear slippers before you open am”.😭😭

[EyeDaddy @OsuohaTony]

I begged this lady, pleaded with a broken heart and a shaky voice for her to be honest with me but she refused and even swore by her late father’s grave. Then I showed her the evidences and she burst into tears. 💔💔😭😭😭

[Babalola Esq.⚖️ @Owiggy_]

Husband told his wife that the cloth she’s wearing is too revealing and she changed it immediately to another one. She got to the even and her friends noticed her own cloth is different from the other, she explained that her husband does not like the style so she had to change. They all understood.

After the gathering, one of them who is a single mother of three due to divorce started messaging her that she’s letting her husband control her life and she shouldn’t be a slave to any man bla bla bla.

She blocked her immediately before she sends further messages.

[Ebun @kenkenlewu]

My friend Chi ended her 6-year relationship on the very night her boyfriend proposed to her.

It happened just last month.

The atmosphere was perfect.

Then he stood up, took the microphone, and called her name.

Everyone became quiet.

He looked at her, went down on one knee, and said:

"My Chi, these six years with you have been the best years of my life.

Although you're not the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, your peace is incomparable.

Many times, my friends have asked me, 'What are you doing with this girl?'

I always tell them physical beauty can be worked on.

Will you marry me?"

The entire place erupted in cheers.

People brought out their phones.

Then Chi spoke.

And the whole room went silent.

"For years, you've always joked that our children would look like you because I'm not beautiful enough.

I thought you were joking.

Today, in front of everyone, you've finally said what you've always believed."

She took a step back.

Looked him straight in the eyes.

And said:

"No."

"I will not marry you."

Silence.

The music stopped.

She picked up her bag and walked out.

Just like that, six years ended in a few seconds💔💔

[Oge of Web3 @official_QV]

During my IT I went to stay with my Uncle and his family.
The wife was a Banker.

One night I heard him telling the wife that the Canada process is taking so much from him
Mentally and financially.

She said she got the house.
He should just focus on other stuff

After that night,we started eating good 😊
Not like we weren’t eating good,but she made sure he knew that she meant it when she said she got the house.

They are all in Canada now.
I’ll never understand the concept of not letting your wife work.
Makes no sense to me.

[DEE ❤ @Olami_deeEbony]

Last year, my friend asked me to follow her to her boyfriend’s place to pack her things because she said she was done with the relationship.

She had been complaining for months about how badly he treated her, so I went as a supportive friend.

We got there and she had about 3 boxes. I carried one outside, came back for the second one, and as I entered, I saw her boyfriend holding her hand and talking to her. I asked if I should carry the second box and she told me to give them 5 minutes to talk.

I went outside to wait.

5 minutes turned into 10 minutes.

I went back to check and immediately realized they were “doing the do”. 🌚

I got annoyed, booked a Bolt and left.

Later, she called me saying I overreacted because relationship issues are normal and they had been through a lot together.

Long story short, her man eventually married someone else. 😂

[ayo ？ @ayblaack]

😂😂

[KARMAKHIZ @karmakhiz01]

If na me i go pack go sokoto.😂💔

[willinill! @willinilli024]

Wetin dey work una for this app sef 😭😭

[The Husky @Mr_Husky1]

Drunk man breaks into dog shelter after losing his own dog to cancer.

Staff thought it was a robbery when cameras caught him walking through the kennel aisle after midnight. The dogs were wide awake, watching him from behind the gates, and no one knew what he was doing there.

Then another camera showed him curled up on the floor, surrounded by dogs.

Police say he had been drinking that night after his dog died the week before. Nothing was stolen. No animals were hurt. He was arrested for breaking in, but shelter workers said the footage was hard to watch.

He didn’t come for money. He came because he missed his dog.