simon goldsmith

Faulty, familiar, frustrating, frustrated.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@realDonaldTrump ‘It is ridiculous’. Anybody see anything else in this tweet that could be accurate?

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

In case you haven’t looked on Facebook, it snowed for four minutes earlier.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

Four weeks - no exercise.
Lockdown ends.
Now the Gym’ll Fix It.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@realDonaldTrump @gregkellyusa @newsmax That poll was corrupt and I wasn’t allowed to watch it.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@JenMcLaren1 Total jenius.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@realDonaldTrump I often look back on my achievements of 2016 with fondness too.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@JenMcLaren1 follow this man.

[alistair green @mralistairgreen]

Enjoy the vaccine that I definitely had nothing to do with 🤫😉👨‍🔬

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@JenMcLaren1 Make America Count Again. Only kidding.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@JenMcLaren1 @dickndom *thought

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@JenMcLaren1 @dickndom Sorry about that. I though they were your favourite?

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@dickndom If my ex-wife were on Twitter I’d imagine she’d answer “a toaster from my then husband”

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

Dear @parcelforce if you’re happy to leave 60 quids worth of gear on display when there’s a multitude of places to hide it at mine, could I ask you at least allow my cat access to food and water. Cheers.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@theJeremyVine As a postman I’ve delivered around BBC LIERS for years but yet to see a house called UP YOURS.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@realDonaldTrump If applying the same criteria used to award yourself the big win in the last one then, yep. He sure did.

[Amanda @Pandamoanimum]

Beyoncé dancing to the original Grange Hill theme tune.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@realDonaldTrump Not a ‘victory’ I’d be in a rush to claim even if it were a fact etc.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

I see people are already starting to panic buy birthday presents for me ahead of Oct 16th. Please STOP. You don’t need to get me anything. Anybody that posts about buying me something in large quantities, don’t respond. Just leave it. It doesn’t help.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

And I’m on a parkrun team and would love to see it back but this is lunacy.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

https://t.co/kgKVxUyVk6
Curious how people I know that six months ago were reporting their neighbours setting food outside are now incredibly keen to spend up to an hour with 400 people exercising all at once when you’re currently allowed to do it all week.

[simon goldsmith @goldsmith_simon]

@realDonaldTrump Just four months - July 1957, February 1967, April 1996 and October 2003. Good times and well recalled. You’ve done your research. LAW AND ORDER etc.