chris

saucy.

[chris @gonzoraps]

Having all my lowball offers get ignored on Facebook marketplace is great rejection therapy

[chris @gonzoraps]

Just saw a picture of one of my childhood idols on Epstein island smh

[chris @gonzoraps]

My superpower is always managing to pick that one shopping cart with the most fucked up wheel

[chris @gonzoraps]

9 times out of 10 if you try to switch lanes in Bakersfield, people will speed up to not let you pass lol people are fucking miserable

[chris @gonzoraps]

Only took 27 days for it to actually feel like we’re in October

[chris @gonzoraps]

What you mean I’m locked out of my Shark Ninja account??? Motherfucker go sweep my floor

[chris @gonzoraps]

Who said chivalry was dead, my Uber waited for me to go through the door before leaving.

[chris @gonzoraps]

I find it funny when solicitors mention they spoke to my other neighbors like I gaf

“so yea, I actually just helped out your neighbor John from 3 doors down…”

Man fuck John

[chris @gonzoraps]

Chipotle getting called out for its shitty portions and Ticketmaster getting sued by the feds

America is healing

[chris @gonzoraps]

That Snapchat update is dumb af, I don’t wanna reply to your story, I’m trying to skip it!!!

[chris @gonzoraps]

Feeling extra motivated today cus I saw that my neighborhood elotero man upgraded to a golf cart

[chris @gonzoraps]

I was at a gift shop in Tokyo and this middle eastern dude who happened to be a cashier kept looking at me and when I finally went to check out he looked around and whispered As-salamu alaykum brother 😭😭😭

[chris @gonzoraps]

@mmhoecakes Ahh I see, cus it brings out the hater in you. That’s very mature of you to step away, good shit.

[chris @gonzoraps]

@mmhoecakes Damn who new you was hating on my snaps this whole time lol

[chris @gonzoraps]

@mmhoecakes That’s crazyyyyy lol what’s your mothers maiden name

[chris @gonzoraps]

@mmhoecakes Imma ask him for tips and tricks

[chris @gonzoraps]

Delusion goes both ways