I’ll say it once more,” Dean murmured, his gaze turning from Castiel’s lips back to his eyes. “What is it that you desire?” Dean’s mouth pulled upward in a dirty smile, and he shook his head ever so slightly. “I won’t ask you again.”
You got any place better to be right now?”
It takes Castiel another minute, but he finally speaks, his voice gravel-rough; a shiver breaks out across Dean’s skin, for reasons he won’t dare admit. “I do,” he says, “but I’d rather… not attend to them.”
“Took me twenty minutes to convince myself to get in here, but I’m fine.”
Castiel’s toes curl. “Are you really?” An open question, one Dean doesn’t have to answer if he doesn’t want to, but he wants to.
Desperately, Dean aches to tell Castiel everything, to wash the sins off his hands, but he doesn’t think he can. Not now, at least. Down the road, when it doesn’t feel so raw, when his own insecurities aren’t so dredged to the surface.
In all honesty, there were times Castiel wasn’t sure Dean would see 37. It was when times were bleak, bleaker than normal, when life and mortality teetered on the thinnest of threads. Even just a year ago, there were moments of weakness, flickers of time-
-when Castiel feared Dean’s body would out-live them all, but his soul would not. Castiel is ashamed to admit he experienced such weakness, but it was never because of a lack of faith in Dean so much as it was a seemingly impending fate.
I can’t get hard,” Dean blurts, almost one word. Shamefaced, he can’t even watch as Castiel stands, slow, almost scrutinizing. “Like…”
“You can’t get hard,” Castiel repeats. “Sexually.”
Sam was wrong—this is infinitely harder to talk about,-
"After spending his fortieth birthday alone, Dean Winchester just wants the day to be over. Little does he know a late night visit from a police officer will change his life forever."
This is for all the times people have said it doesn't exist. For all the times #Destiel shippers have been invalidated. For all the times we were told we were crazy. It exists & we are valid. Misha smiled SO big when he saw it. Thank you so much @mishacollins. #SPNCLE