Best

best sarcasm and more.. :)

[Best @good_machinee]

Ugly Girls With Hot Bodies (10 Images) http://t.co/O6nfKKsdjZ

[Best @good_machinee]

Help me help you help myself help you think you're helping yourself but you're really helping me.

[Best @good_machinee]

You know who else releases albums without anyone knowing? Beyonce's sister.

[Best @good_machinee]

The 5 Things Women Won't Tell You About Sex http://t.co/vYOSyB7gl6

[Best @good_machinee]

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to lift your middle finger.

[Best @good_machinee]

If you ever feel like a failure, just know that somewhere in the world, someone just lost their straw inside a Capri Sun.

[Best @good_machinee]

With my luck, I'll die and get reincarnated as myself.

[Best @good_machinee]

The Hobbit 2: we've still got a long way to walk

[Best @good_machinee]

I hate when I oversleep at work and get home late.

[Best @good_machinee]

Artist turns Innocent Disney Princesses Into Flirty Pin-u... http://t.co/VTyDkxmkZi

[Best @good_machinee]

Adele: "Are you breaking up with me? Hold on, let me grab a pen."

[Best @good_machinee]

I just found handcuffs, a whip and a mask in my girlfriend's bedroom. I can't believe she's a super hero.

[Best @good_machinee]

"A body at rest tends to stay at rest" should be an acceptable excuse for missing work.