cam

he/him. i'm sick

[cam @goodbye_toby]

quick tutorial on how to attach an image to an ḙ̶̖̠̙̽m̸̍̈́ͅa̷̢̲͎͎̐͂i̸̡̛͔͒ļ̶̅

[cam @goodbye_toby]

hey buster if you think this is my first time getting booed out of a bowling alley you're dead wrong

[cam @goodbye_toby]

gonna tell my kids this was Mr. Big

[conniving eunuch @1BBGGGUU]

my core promise as a friend/lover is that i’m going to get very high on your couch

[🦫 ᔕᗩᖇᗩᕼ 🦫 @rodentsheriff]

hozier thinks he’s father john misty. father john misty thinks he’s paul simon. paul simon thinks he’s the hamburglar

[cam @goodbye_toby]

imagining him instead of Mumford and Sons saying "I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?"

[cam @goodbye_toby]

up to my old tricks again!! (returning to the Catholic faith)

[cam @goodbye_toby]

my 9 year old non-binary lesbian son Chrxstopher has just informed me that his polycule has just gone "biral" on Tik Talk. Chili's tonight to celebrate.

[cam @goodbye_toby]

(hot boxed my car)

[cam @goodbye_toby]

thinking about drummers. the absolute vibe you have to be riding to play that shit. they don't give a fuck man. hero shit

[cam @goodbye_toby]

wait sorry do you mean XCX or Brown

[cam @goodbye_toby]

No bro haha don't tuck me in bro stop don't make me all snug like a burrito haha bro what are you doing no I'm so comfy bro haha stopp

[cam @goodbye_toby]

@TENENBAVM thank you for educating me

[cam @goodbye_toby]

going chode mode

[cam @goodbye_toby]

I guarantee you that a future civilization will with absolute certainty chalk up the collapse of our society to the invention of the microwave. it is a sinister machine

[cam @goodbye_toby]

my ego consciousness brings a certain "not going to do my laundry until I'm fully out of underwear" vibe that the rest of my unindividuated psyche doesn't really fuck with

[cam @goodbye_toby]

at the end, the actor playing Macbeth comes back on stage for curtain call and bows. "fuck I thought he died" I say, eyes bulging out of their sockets, full of blood. the actor playing Macbeth looks at me and goes "I'm gonna kill that guy for real"

[cam @goodbye_toby]

actor playing Macbeth, at the first ever performance of Macbeth: is this a dagger I see before me? The handle toward my hand?

me, in the audience, completely cooked: houly sheeet

[cam @goodbye_toby]

"thou art being too loud!" Another audience tells me. "Thou art suck my ass" i reply, eyes beet red, looking down at my phone, visibly purchasing $100,000 of NFTs

[cam @goodbye_toby]

@SquilliumPhD Omggggg lirerally

[cam @goodbye_toby]

@McClellandShane Good job