8. YO LEMME RETIRE
“Identify the perfect time for me to sell the company to the highest bidder and achieve the most profitable possible exit for me personally, then sell the company. Then find a luxury tiki hut in the BVI for me to live in and record sick podcast episodes with my guys.”
7. NO TAXES EVER
“Legally evade all taxes. No mistakes. As a backup, please find some accountant I can blame for this tax fraud. Someone who wouldn’t mind spending 15-20 years in federal prison. Actually, my ex is an accountant. Make it her.”