gooseneck

Ninja monkeys are meeting as we speak, plotting my demise.

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

How in the Tobey Maguire fuck did I forget about the Incredible Bongo Band? #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

My belly button is actually a Mer-horse. #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Human sacrifice, dogs and cats being eaten together....are gooses next? Asking for a friend. #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

It was a sneaky lawyer's trick and I fell for it...because she's much smarter than me. #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Little goose: Mom, I want Dad to make my eggs. He really knows how to bring the flavor. #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Happy Birthday Valentine! I shall toast a beer in your honor! #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

I have the sniffing power of a puma! #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Lady goose: Hey, I'm not a chair!
Little goose: Yes you are.
Lady goose: No I'm not!
Little goose: Chairs don't speak.
#homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Everyone: ....
Little goose: My head is growing on my bootie bootie butt cheek!
#homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Home alone on a Friday night. I'm taking off my pants and watching Animal House with the volume cranked up. Because I'm a big boy! #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

After exhaustive polling, Bison's favorite musician is Bruno Mars. #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Made third attempt this year to buy cream filled donuts. Received custard filled donuts all three times. Moral is low. Taking my pants off to see if it helps. #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

For those of y'all who wear fannie packs, come on! #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Me: How's your lunch?

Little goose: TOO GOOD FOR ME TO HANDLE!
#homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Panda Bears. Exploding from my butt so they can go to scuba diving class. #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Me: I don't think I'm going to make it to half time.
Lady goose: There are 23 seconds until half time.
Me: My statement stands.
#homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Am I excessively sweating because I am sexually attracted to you or because I exfoliate with nacho cheese? #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

The only way I check tomatoes for freshness is the lick method. #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

Little goose: Boo boo butts are boo boos made of butts. Baby butts are babies made of butts. Chicken butts are chickens made of butts. Butt butts are butts made of butts.

And I once again hold the crown for the least mature in funkyhouse. #homonym

[gooseneck @gooseneck]

I can dere-lick my own balls. #homonym