Megan

im dogtor

[Megan @goosherton]

This girl from hs that sat next to me in Brit Lit for an entire year recently started following me and DMed me saying “omg I had no idea you were funny.” Wtf kinda back handed ass compliment is this shit

[Megan @goosherton]

@lil_kdoo11 But why aren’t your receptionists backing you up either?

[Megan @goosherton]

@michaelscat2 Feliway spray/diffuser to help calm him down. Leave him some hidey holes too. He’ll come around in due time.

[Megan @goosherton]

@bunsenbernerbmd Microbiology

[Megan @goosherton]

I went to a party last night and they all paused the music to make me go around and name everyone in the room and I’ve never wanted to die more. Gonna go crawl back in my hole now

[Megan @goosherton]

Feel like I got hit by a semi truck but I would do covid all over again just to watch @TheAcademyIs at riot fest

[Blake Zeff @blakezeff]

Then there’s veterinarians. Do you know their average student debt is ~200k? Not nightmare or worse-case scenario. Average. They don’t become wealthy either. Their suicide rates are very high in part because of debt. Does anyone think veterinarians are frivolous parts of society?

[Megan @goosherton]

Working 3 jobs to pay off my student loans but now I can’t qualify for forgiveness 🙄 Thank you for thinking of veterinarians. As much as I love my job, I wouldn’t have gone this route if I really understood how much I was signing my life away to pay.

[Blake Zeff @blakezeff]

Then there’s veterinarians. Do you know their average student debt is ~200k? Not nightmare or worse-case scenario. Average. They don’t become wealthy either. Their suicide rates are very high in part because of debt. Does anyone think veterinarians are frivolous parts of society?

[Megan @goosherton]

@JunipersBird @blakezeff This is median, not mean

[Megan @goosherton]

Hear me out. Trap, neuter, and release programs but instead of feral cats, it’s men?? It drastically reduced the homeless and abandoned pet population. I’m just sayin.

[Megan @goosherton]

Listen, I can’t offer abortion resources, but I can offer you neuter resources. (It’s me, I’m the resource.)

[Megan @goosherton]

When the notoriously difficult client requests not to be seen by you again

[Megan @goosherton]

If you see me pouring balsamic vinegar in my seltzer, it’s time to put me down. Please.

[Megan @goosherton]

Nothing humbles me more than the Target self checkout camera. Literally did one of these.

[Megan @goosherton]

Please, for the love of god, don’t ever, under any circumstances, give anyone my number or contact information so they can ask me dog questions. Please.

[Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad]

what the fuck

[Rob @Jeebus_Cristo]

Kyle Rittenhouse was absolutely breast fed until he was 14 like that kid in Game of Thrones

[Megan @goosherton]

SHOW 👏 UP 👏 ON 👏 TIME 👏 FOR 👏 YOUR 👏 APPOINTMENTS

[Megan @goosherton]

I just said thought to myself, “Ooh it’s 6:30 pm, I better get my PJs on, it’s almost bed time.” When did I become a grandmother???

[Megan @goosherton]

My dumb ass was like “what’s with all the 9/11 stuff out suddenly?”

[Megan @goosherton]

@adamtotscomix