mist

you are nothing without discipline | she/her | 19 | edtwt | cw: fat

[mist @gorgeousmist]

girl you were so fucking wrong

[mist @gorgeousmist]

once I'm working in 1 week, I will be losing weight. I hated being at home, I find it hard to move around compared to just going about my day outside

[mist @gorgeousmist]

I know ill be a baddie once im skinny

[mist @gorgeousmist]

life update

- got an amazing high paying job
- got licence
- got car
- got boyfriend
- moved out of home
- got fat

[mist @gorgeousmist]

back on here because I let myself go this year. enjoyed food too much while everything else was going well. I have an amazing job and boyfriend but both him and I need to lose weight.

[mist @gorgeousmist]

im back at my highest weight and feel disgusting

[mist @gorgeousmist]

I wish I never cut myself. What at the time felt like insignificant cuts are still scars to this day. And it the cold I can see them fairly clearly on my legs. It's something I just want to forget about in the past

[mist @gorgeousmist]

Thank god for this loud as fuck vent in bathroom

[mist @gorgeousmist]

My disordered eating causes most of it

[mist @gorgeousmist]

Whenever I'm doing something cool I either have horrible cramps or diarrhoea or both.

[mist @gorgeousmist]

Taking diabolical shits at work

[mist @gorgeousmist]

My friend was groomed by a boy 5 years older than her since she was 14. And she turned 18 yesterday and he threw her a massive party that I made an excuse not to go to. All his friends are older too. It's so gross but she was mentally ill and shing 2 years ago and made me feel -

[mist @gorgeousmist]

My mother's a narcissist and my dad's a junkie but despite that Im doing great in life. But I fear that the mental illness will catch back up to me. Again.

[mist @gorgeousmist]

I carry the burden of my past trauma and the current insanity of my own mother. And it rots me from the inside every few years and I know I'll move out soon but I feel terrible today. Like I woke up and everything was getting to me

[mist @gorgeousmist]

Decided to tweet into the void to try and feel better

[mist @gorgeousmist]

I cant say I have no trauma when there isn't a day that goes by that I imagine my father hurting me. The scenarios changed as I got older but I still think about him. And fear him. But if he wanted to hurt me he could have at any time but I constantly imagine it.

[mist @gorgeousmist]

I carry enough self hatred and shame to sink a ship and despite this I'm going very well. Not mentally, but by all other accounts

[mist @gorgeousmist]

Guys I discovered Japanese food. So yummy. I need to go to the gym 😭

[mist @gorgeousmist]

Best way to lose weight is exclusively eat spicy noodles and drink coffee. Empty stomach for the win