Greg Schmidt

Merica!

[Kenny “KFUCKINGP” Powers @KFUCKINGP]

What's this made up International Women's Day bullshit?

Kenny Powers celebrates all women all 365 days of the damn year.

[adult swim @adultswim]

Dear The Swiss,

Thank you for Helvetica

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

Why isn't duct tape a sponsor for the #Sochi Olympics? #SochiProblems

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

Nice coat Joe Namath.

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

Blood sugar sex magic. #SuperBowl

[adult swim @adultswim]

Recon team returns. Stairs are impassable. Footprints found but bodies lost. Morale is crumbling. #snowmageddon2014

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

For any of those who don't know who Pete Seeger was plug John Henry into you tube and get ready for a knee slapping romp.

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

Of all the weird hats on all the hipsters I've never seen one with a baseball cap. They must be too mainstream.

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

@JediGovna713 I checked to see if #GAYnalLube is an actual trending topic. You are the first. Well done 👏 well done.

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

If I invented a brand of anal lube it would be called; Buttfucking fuck butter.

[The Race Draft @The_Race_Draft]

Who's excited for the Super Bowl ??

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

#stonerbowl the MVP of the AFC is Pot roast Knighton for having the best nickname.

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

#stonerbowl whooooo! Wa and Co the two states to free the weed. Now is the time for revolution.

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

If Denver and Seattle go to the Super Bowl. It will be the stoner bowl cuz those are the only two states to vote for legal weed. Freedom!

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

If you're the kind of guy/girl who brings their own koozie to the bar you have great common sense. I'm not trying to be funny here. Respect

[Damien Fahey @DamienFahey]

What a coincidence. The pause after someone says, "Wait for it..." is the perfect amount of time it would take to punch them in the face.

[Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan]

“How about a berry that tastes like straw?” - Pitch for strawberries

[Bubbles @MSmithBubbles]

This goddamn fucking storm can officially go fuck itself in it's cold, windy ass. #suckitstorm

[Greg Schmidt @gorillazombies]

Send a message to the man. This is for all my dead homies. One love. Rock n roll. May the force be with you. ✊👈