Goris

Full-stack developer | dog dad | ❤️ @gabbyshires

[Goris @goris29]

Happy 4th everyone!

[Goris @goris29]

Happy 4th everyone!

[Goris @goris29]

@FortniteStatus Is this a known bug? Any fix for this?

[Goris @goris29]

@connorpaton Big true

[Goris @goris29]

@GabbyShires She has a nest in my chest cavity. It's true.

[Goris @goris29]

@GabbyShires I’ve grown since then. Looking back I think it’s cool that you had ninja stars in your closet and a deep love for combat sports 🙂

[Goris @goris29]

My Forever Valentine 🥹

[Goris @goris29]

@GabbyShires How else is my queen supposed to "meat" her macros without a bouquet of meat and protein foam? 🤔

[Goris @goris29]

This has literally been @GabbyShires all day 🤣

[Pop Crave @PopCrave]

Sheryl Lee Ralph speaks Spanish and shows love for Bad Bunny ahead of the #SuperBowl  Halftime Show.

[LAY'S @LAYS]

every repost = 1 pet

LaysSBLX

[Goris @goris29]

Shit My Wife Is Saying About The Super Bowl
“When is Bad Bunny coming on?”

“Sports are intended to prepare men for war. Football is silly. I only support combat sports.”

“Can you let me know if there are any funny commercials I’m gonna go vibe code.”

“These gigantic huge men are getting paid millions of dollars to run into each other? Maybe I should have just signed up for the NFL instead of losing 200 pounds.”

“Is Taylor Swift’s boyfriend playing?”

“Is Cardi B’s boyfriend playing?”

“What time EXACTLY is Bad Bunny coming on so I can take a nap?”

[Goris @goris29]

Shit My Wife Is Saying About The Super Bowl
“When is Bad Bunny coming on?”

“Sports are intended to prepare men for war. Football is silly. I only support combat sports.”

“Can you let me know if there are any funny commercials I’m gonna go vibe code.”

“These gigantic huge men are getting paid millions of dollars to run into each other? Maybe I should have just signed up for the NFL instead of losing 200 pounds.”

“Is Taylor Swift’s boyfriend playing?”

“Is Cardi B’s boyfriend playing?”

“What time EXACTLY is Bad Bunny coming on so I can take a nap?”

[Goris @goris29]

Shit My Wife Said This Week
“If I don’t bite you how will you know I’m propositioning you sexually?”

“This tea tastes like a yankee candle. I love it! Thank you!”

“Sugar, run and get my eczema cream! Mama’s knuckles are crusty 😔”

“Grandma, what do you mean you don’t like guacamole with jalapeños because it’s ’too spicy’? I’ve never heard of someone who smoked for 60 years having a sensitive palate but okay.”

“Why is everyone being mean to me? Am I the problem?” (After Gabby cussed out her brother and strongly implied physical harm, much like a mob wife)

“Hmm that’s a great question, grandma! I don’t know what BDSM stands for.. probably something about loving Christ with all your heart.. if I had to guess 🙂”

“Trev, if this ear infection takes me in the night, make sure you let the dogs smell my body before they toss me in the incinerator so they know I’m gone. Also can you go grab me a hot pocket? For my final meal or whatever.” (It was the most mild ear infection known to man)

“Trevor can have buffalo wings because his blood line isn’t weak.”

“I’m offended you aren’t plotting and scheming to rub my ass more often.”

“Me and Justin Bieber have this unbreakable, ethereal connection even though we’ve never met, he doesn’t know who I am, and I’ve completely made this whole thing up in my head.”

[Goris @goris29]

@GabbyShires Me: “Gabs do you just have Justin Bieber’s Grammy performance on continuous loop?”

Gabs: “I’m just listening to the audio, not watching the video 🙂”

YEAH RIGHT!!! 🙄

[Goris @goris29]

@connorpaton 100% remember this. Mostly on Southwest though.

[Goris @goris29]

@GabbyShires I also love how your mom complains about your grandma watching Andy Griffith all day but she watches In The Heat of the Night all day 🤡🤡🤡

[Goris @goris29]

@retaqib @GabbyShires You killed it! 10/10!